When Pokemon meet Wikipedia
by Ultraman Nexus
Summary: What happens when several Pokemon read about their real life animal counterparts? Spin-off from my Mewtwo fic.
1. Charmeleon

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon or Wikipedia.

"Okay, what just happened?" asked Charmeleon. One moment ago he along with the rest of Ash's Pokemon were getting ready for Ash's battle with the Petalburg Gym Leader Norman when they were suddenly teleported to a void where there was only a computer in it.

"I have no idea, but I'm sensing a strong being approaching," said Mewtwo with his eyes narrowed.

"You are correct, Mr. Psychic Cat!" said a voice.

In a bright blaze of light appeared the author of the story, Ultraman Nexus!

Suddenly, the Pokemon gained 4th wall bending abilities and recognized him off the bat.

"Oh no, don't tell me your here to devolve me back to a Charmander!" yelled Charmeleon.

"Of course not," said Ultraman. "Or do you?"

"No, no! I may not have the flying or badassery I had when I was a Charizard, but I'd rather be like this than be a kidsy cute Charmander!" said Charmeleon frantically.

"Relax, besides, the only reason I had you devolved in the first place was that I liked your middle form better than Charizard when I was a kid," said Ultraman.

"Anyways, can you tell us why we're here? Ash kinda needs us really quick," said Pikachu.

"Don't worry, I've got millenium author powers remember? I'll just freeze time outside of this void so you can all go back like nothing happened. But anywho, let me tell you why I summoned you all here."

Ultraman started pacing around the room while saying,"While I was daydreaming thinking of something creative, I got the idea of what would certain Pokemon think of their real life animal counterparts? And so, I had you all teleported here to go on wikipedia and find out."

"Do we have to?" whined Charmeleon.

"If you'd rather have this be a Truth or Dare fic like Edfan765's fic..." said Ultraman letting the threat into the air.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" The Pokemon all screamed. "We've seen that fic!" yelled Pidgeot. "Yeah," said Butterfree. "There's no way I'm going I'm gonna kiss girls, get killed over and over again, or eat Snorlax crap!"

"Very well then, let's go with Charmeleon first shall we?" said Ultraman.

Charmeleon sat down on the chair in front of the computer but his tail flame caused it get lit on fire!

Ultraman put the fire out with a wave of his hand and then zapped it with a green blast of energy from his index finger. "Okay, it's fire-proof."

Charmeleon got on and went online and typed in the site name. "Hold on, what should I type in?"

"Put in reptile," said Ultraman.

The fire type did that and a new page appeared on the screen. He started reading out loud.

**Reptiles, or members of the class Reptilia, are air-breathing, generally "cold-blooded"**

"Cold blooded?! I breathe fire, how can I be cold blooded?!"

_**(**__**poikilothermic**__**) **__**amniotes**__** that generally have skin covered in **__**scales**__** or **__**scutes**__**. **_

Charmeleon looked himself over and said,"I don't have scales, but I'm not sure what a scute is."

_They are __tetrapods__ (having or having descended from vertebrates with four limbs) and lay amniote eggs, _

"I guess that's one thing right so far," said Pikachu.

**whose ****embryos**** are surrounded by the ****amnion****membrane****. Modern reptiles inhabit every ****continent**** with the exception of ****Antarctica****, **

"No shit, even a Magmar probably couldn't live in a place like that," said Charmeleon.

"Actually, Magmar's have constant high body temperatures, and they could potentially evaporate all the ice on Antarctica if enough were on it," said Mewtwo.

There was a moment of silence. "Moving on," said Charmeleon.

and four living orders are currently recognized:

**Crocodilia**

"I'm related to Totodile?"

"Guess you learn something new everyday," said Pidgeot.

(crocodiles, gavials, caimans, and alligators): 23 species

**Sphenodontia** (tuatara from New Zealand): 2 species

**Squamata** (lizards, snakes, and amphisbaenids ["worm-lizards"]): approximately 7,900 species

**Testudines** (turtles

"I'm also related to Squirtle?! We don't even look alike!

"It's the genes," said Mewtwo.

**and ****tortoises****): approximately 300 species **

**The majority of reptile species are ****oviparous**** (egg-laying) although certain species of squamates are capable of giving live birth. **

"Does your kind ever give live birth?" asked Mewtwo.

"I'm not one hundred percent sure," said Charmeleon. "I haven't even seen a egg among my species. Not even at the valley though it might be getting close to mating season now."

Butterfree gagged and got into a fetal position. Pidgeot sighed and said,"Do you think he'll ever tell us what happened?"

"Only when the author decides to," said Pikachu.

**This is achieved, either through ****ovoviviparity**** (egg retention), or ****viviparity**** (offspring born without use of ****calcified**** eggs). Many of the viviparous species feed their ****fetuses**** through various forms of ****placenta**** analogous to those of mammals with some providing initial care for their hatchlings. **

"Do I even want to know what that is?" said Charmeleon.

Extant reptiles range in size from a tiny gecko, _Sphaerodactylus ariasae_, that grows to only 1.6 cm (0.6 in),

Charmeleon snickered and said,"That's even smaller than me when I was a kid."

"So you were the runt in the family?" asked Primeape.

Eye twitching, he glared at Primeape and snarled,"No! I was only the second smallest! And I was the only one that survived that night!"

**to the ****saltwater crocodile**** that may reach 6 m in length and weigh over 1,000 kg. **

"Wow, that's even bigger than your fully evolved form," said Pikachu.

"Only the official height! I grew bigger than the average Charizard in the valley you know!" said Charmeleon.

"6 meters is 19 feet from my estimate, though I think saw one or two giant Charizard's there a little bigger than that," said Pikachu.

"Grr, do you have to keep rubbing it in my face how tiny I was compared to the lot of them?! The only reason I grew was the food in there, and even then plenty were bigger than me!"

"You wouldn't happen to have a Napoleon complex by any chance?" asked Mewtwo.

".............That's hitting below the belt," said Charmeleon softly.

**The science dealing with reptiles is called ****herpetology.**

"Hey, the rest of that stuff is not important, skip to Evolutionary history," said Ultraman Nexus.

"Fine, maybe that'll have something that's right," said Charmeleon.

Rise of the reptiles

**The origin of the reptiles lays about 320-310 million years back, in the steaming swamps of the late ****Carboniferous****, when the first reptiles evolved from advanced ****reptilomorph****labyrinthodonts****. **

"That must have been when prehistoric Pokemon like Aerodactly were around," said Butterfree.

"Darn, I never even got to finish my fight with that one," muttered Charmeleon.

"So you just evolved to battle Aerodactyl then?" asked Pikachu with a frown.

Charmeleon looked wounded and said,"Oi! I might not have been loyal to Ash during that time, but I didn't want that Aerodactyl to eat him either! I'll admit my main focus was beating it, but I flew Ash down to safety when he was dropped down."

"What are you talking about?" asked Mewtwo.

"Oh, it was one of our adventures in Kanto, it's a long story," said Pikachu.

T**he oldest traces of reptiles is a series of footprints from the fossil strata of ****Nova Scotia****, dated to 315 million years old. The tracks are attributed to **_**Hylonomus**_**, the oldest known reptile in the biological sense of the ****word. It was a small, lizard-like animal, about 20 to 30 cm (8-12 inches) long, with numerous sharp teeth indicating an insectivorous diet.**

"Ah, my oldest ancestor then."

**Other examples include **_**Westlothiana**_** (for the moment considered to be more related to amphibians than ****amniotes****)**

"Amphibians? I can't live in the water, I'll die!"

a**nd **_**Paleothyris**_**, both of similar build and presumably habit. One of the best known early reptiles is **_**Mesosaurus**_**, a genus of early reptiles from the early ****Permian**** that had returned to water,**

"Okay, whoever wrote this has their facts screwed up, I CANNOT live in the water! I can live near it, but not in it! Get it through your heads people!"

**feeding on fish. The earliest reptiles were largely overshadowed by bigger ****labyrinthodont**** amphibians such as **_**Cochleosaurus**_**, and remained a small, inconspicuous part of the fauna until after the small ice age at the end of the Carboniferous.**

"Must be getting close to where my species first emerged."

**The first reptiles are categorized as ****anapsids****, having a solid skull with holes only for nose, eyes, spinal cord, etc. Turtles are believed by some to be surviving Anapsids, as they also share this skull structure, but this point has become contentious lately, with some arguing that turtles reverted to this primitive state in order to improve their armor (see ****Parareptilia****).Both sides have strong evidence, and the conflict has yet to be resolved.**

**Very early after the first reptiles appeared, two branches split off. One lead to the ****Synapsida**** (the "mammal-like reptiles" or "stem mammals"), having two openings in the skull roof behind the eyes high , the other group, ****Diapsida****, possessed a pair of holes in their skulls behind the eyes, along with a second pair located higher on the skull. **

Everyone: 0-0

**The function of the holes in bout groups was to lighten the skull and give room for the jaw muscles to move, allowing for a more powerful bite. The diapsids and later anapsids are classed as the "true reptiles", the ****Sauropsida.**

Permian reptiles

**With the close of the ****Carboniferous****, reptiles became the dominant tetrapod fauna.**

"Ha! Goes to show you how kick-ass supreme my species is!" said Charmeleon boastfully.

"What if you fought against a Tyranitar?" asked Mewtwo.

Charmeleon blanched and spluttered,"Well, I beat a Golem, and Blastoise to match!"

But you lost to Blaziken in one fight without fighting anyone before hand," pointed out Primeape.

"THAT MATCH WAS RIGGED!!! Harrison gave his Blaziken steroids, that's only way that bloody chicken was able to score a near miracle victory over me!" bellowed Charmeleon. Obviously he still very sore about losing that battle along with costing Ash the match.

**While the terrestrial ****reptilomorph**** labyrinthodonts still existed, the mammal-like reptiles evolved the first terrestrial ****megafauna**** in the form of ****pelycosaurs**** like **_**Edaphosaurus**_** and the carnivorous **_**Dimetrodon**_**. In the mid-Permian the climate turned dryer, resulting in a faunal turnover. The primitive pelycosaurs where replaced by the more advanced ****therapsids****.**

**The anapsid reptiles, with their massive skulls without postorbital holes, continued and flourished throughout the Permian. The ****pareiasaurs**** reached giant proportions in the late Permian, eventually disappearing at the close of the period (the turtles being possible survivors).**

**Early in the period, the diapside reptiles split into two main lineages, the ****archosaurs**** (forefathers of ****crocodiles**** and ****dinosaurs****) and the ****lepidosaurs**** (predecessors of modern snakes, lizards, and ****tuataras****). Both groups remained lizard-like and relatively small and inconspicuous during the Permian.**

Mesozoic, the "Age of Reptiles"

**The close of the Permian saw the greatest mass extinction known (see the ****Permian–Triassic extinction event****). **

"That must have been when Aerodactly, Omastar, and other ancient Pokemon were wiped out," said Pidgeot.

"Probably, but I've heard reports about scientists resurrecting them from fossils," said Mewtwo.

**Most of the earlier anapsid/synapsid megafauna disappeared, making room for the ****archosauromorph**** diapsids. The archosaurs was characterized by elongated hind-legs and an erect pose, **

Primeape started snickering, and soon did Pidgeot and Pikachu. "Hey, mind out of the gutter!" yelled Charmeleon with a twitching eye.

**the early forms looking somewhat like long legged crocodiles. The archosaurs became the dominant group during the ****Triassic****, developing into the well known ****dinosaurs**** and ****pterosaurs****, as well as ****crocodiles**** and ****phytosaurs****. Some of the dinosaurs developed into the largest land animals ever to have lived,**

"Whoa, my ancestor's were bigger than Wailords."

**making the Mesozoic popularly known as the "Age of Reptiles".**

"What a golden age that must have been!" said Charmeleon cheerfully.

"Sure, a age of arrogant hot heads acting like they're unbeatable," muttered Primeape.

"You want another ass-whooping!"

**The dinosaurs also developed smaller forms, including the feather-bearing smaller ****theropds****.**

Pidgeot's and Charmeleon's eyes bugged out and they looked at each other and said,"Cousins?"

**In the mid ****Jurassic****, these gave rise to the first ****birds****.**

"Maybe not," said both Charmeleon and Pidgeot.

T**he ****lepidosauromorph**** diapsids may have been ancestral to the sea reptiles. These reptiles developed into the ****sauropterygians**** in the early Triassic and the ****ichthyosaurs**** during the Middle Triassic. The ****mosasaurs**** also evolved in the Mesozoic Era, emerging during the ****Cretaceous**** period.**

**The therapsids came under increasing pressure from the dinosaurs in the early Mesozoic and developed into increasingly smaller and more nocturnal forms, the first mammals being the only survivors of the line by late ****Jurassic****.**

Demise of the dinosaurs

**The close of the ****Cretaceous**** saw the demise of the Mesozoic reptilian megafauna (see the ****Cretaceous–Tertiary extinction event****). Of the large marine reptiles, only the ****sea turtles**** are left, and of the dinosaurs, only the small feathered ****theropods**** survived in the form of ****birds****.**

"Enough about the birds or water animals, get to present!"

"Relax, I'm sure it's getting there," said Mewtwo.

**The major surviving reptilian line is the lepidosaurs, of which the ****snakes**** are currently the most numerous and widespread representatives.**

"There's no way Jessie's Arbok is better than me, look at the time it's had it's ass kicked!"

**The end of the "Age of Reptiles", opened up for the "Age of Mammals". Despite this, reptiles are still a major fauna component, particularly in tropical climates. There are about 8200 extant species of reptiles (whereof almost half are snakes), compared to 5400 species of mammals (of which ⅔ are ****rodents**** and ****bats****). The most numerous modern group with reptilian roots are the birds, with over 9000 species.**

"IT'S OVER 9000!" Mewtwo suddenly bellowed out.

Everyone stared at him with a wtf look. "Well, you see, on the night before I went with Ash on his brief trip through Kanto, I watched an episode of Dragonball Z. I actually thought it was pretty good."

_'Wait til you see Frieza in his final form,' _thought Pikachu.

**Circulatory**

**Most reptiles have a three-chamber ****heart**** consisting of two ****atria****, one variably-partitioned ****ventricle****, and two aorta that go the ****systemic circulation****. The degree of mixing of ****oxygenated**** and deoxygenated blood in the three-chamber heart is variable depending on the species and physiological state. Under different conditions, deoxygenated blood can be shunted back to the body or oxygenated blood can be shunted back to the lungs. This variation in blood flow has been hypothesized to allow more effective thermoregulation and longer diving times for aquatic species, but has not been shown to be a ****fitness**** advantage.**

**There are some interesting exceptions to the general physiology. For instance, crocodilians have an anatomically four-chambered heart, but also have two systemic aorta and are therefore capable only of bypassing their pulmonary circulation. Also, some snake and lizard species (e.g., monitor lizards and pythons) have three-chamber hearts that become functional four-chamber hearts during contraction. **

"How does that happen?"

**This is made possible by a muscular ridge that subdivides the ventricle during ventricular diastole and completely divides it during ventricular systole.**

"Oh, that's how."

**Because of this ridge, some of these squamates are capable of producing ventricular pressure differentials that are equivalent to those seen in mammalian and avian hearts.**

Respiratory Reptilian lungs

**All reptiles breathe using lungs. **

"Obviously," said Charmeleon taking a deep breath for emphasis.

**Aquatic turtles have developed more permeable skin, and some species have modified their cloaca to increase the area for gas exchange (Orenstein, 2001). Even with these adaptations, breathing is never fully accomplished without lungs. Lung ventilation is accomplished differently in each main reptile group. In squamates, the lungs are ventilated almost exclusively by the axial musculature. This is also the same musculature that is used during locomotion. Because of this constraint, most squamates are forced to hold their breath during intense runs. **

"That's not true, I am breathe while I run. It's harder when I was a Charizard but still."

**Some, however, have found a way around it. Varanids, and a few other lizard species, employ buccal pumping as a complement to their normal "axial breathing." This allows the animals to completely fill their lungs during intense locomotion, and thus remain aerobically active for a long time. **

"Okay, I can't do that, I'll eventually get tired sooner later.

"It said long time, not forever," said Pikachu.

"Oh right," said Charmeleon.

**Tegu lizards are known to possess a proto-diaphragm, which separates the pulmonary cavity from the visceral cavity. While not actually capable of movement, it does allow for greater lung inflation, by taking the weight of the viscera off the lungs (Klein et al., 2003). Crocodilians actually have a muscular diaphragm that is analogous to the mammalian diaphragm. The difference is that the muscles for the crocodilian diaphragm pull the pubis (part of the pelvis, which is movable in crocodilians) back, which brings the liver down, thus freeing space for the lungs to expand. This type of diaphragmatic setup has been referred to as the "hepatic piston."**

**Turtles and tortoises**

**How ****turtles and tortoises**** breathe has been the subject of much study. To date, only a few species have been studied thoroughly enough to get an idea of how turtles do it. **

"Okay, this isn't about me, it's about Squirtle, I'm skipping it."

**Palate**

**Most reptiles lack a ****secondary palate****, meaning that they must hold their breath while swallowing. **

"Why does that matter? Anyone can do it really quick! Except of course Slowpokes."

**Crocodilians have evolved a bony secondary palate that allows them to continue breathing while remaining submerged (and protect their brains from getting kicked in by struggling prey). Skinks (family Scincidae) also have evolved a bony secondary palate, to varying degrees. Snakes took a different approach and extended their trachea instead. Their tracheal extension sticks out like a fleshy straw, and allows these animals to swallow large prey without suffering from asphyxiation.**

**Skin**

**Reptilian skin is covered in a horny ****epidermis****, making it watertight and enable reptiles to live on dry land, in contrast to the amphibians. Compared to mammals, reptilian skin is rather thin, and lack the thick ****dermal**** layer that produces ****leather**** in mammals. Exposed parts of reptiles are protected by ****scales**** or ****scutes****, sometimes with a bony base, forming ****armour****. **

"Hehehe, I know," said Charmeleon thumping his belly.

**In turtles, the body is hidden inside a hard shell composed on fused scutes. In the ****lepidosaurians**** like lizards and snakes, the whole skin is covered in ****epidermal**** scales. Such scales were once thought to be typical of the class Reptilia as a whole, but are actually found only in lepidosaurians. The scales found in turtles and crocodiles are of ****dermal**** origin rather than epidermal, and are properly termed scutes.**

**Excretory**

Charmeleon's eyes bugged out and he yelled,"I'm skipping this!"

"No you aren't, this can be used to embarrass you," said Ultraman.

**Excretion**** is performed mainly by two small ****kidneys****. In diapsids, ****uric acid**** is the main ****nitrogenous**** waste product; turtles, like ****mammals****, mainly excrete ****urea****. Unlike the kidneys of mammals and birds, reptile kidneys are unable to produce liquid urine more concentrated than their body fluid. This is because they lack a specialized structure present in the ****nephrons**** of birds and mammals, called a ****Loop of Henle****. Because of this, many reptiles use the ****colon**** to aid in the ****reabsorption**** of water. Some are also able to take up water stored in the ****bladder****. Excess salts are also excreted by nasal and lingual ****salt glands**** in some reptiles.**

"Oh my Arceus, does that mean that whenever you get a cold, your taking a piss through your nose?!" yelled Primeape with fearful eyes.

"It's bullshit! I take a leak from my dick, no where else!"

**Digestive systems**

**Most reptiles are carnivorous, and quite a few primarily eat other reptiles.**

"Oh come on, like the rest of you haven't eaten meat!"

**Most reptiles are carnivorous and have rather simple and not overly long guts, meat being fairly simple to break down and digest.**

"I guess that's one more thing right,it usually takes me longer to digest other foods."

**Digestion**** is slower than in ****mammals****, reflecting about the fact that they can not divide and ****masticate**** their food like mammals do, and their lower ****metabolism****. Being ****poikilotherms**** (with varying body temperature ****regulated by their environment) their energy requirement is about a 5th to a 10th of that of a mammal of the same size. Large reptiles like crocodiles and the large constrictors can basically live from a single large meal for months, digesting it slowly.**

**While modern reptiles are predominately carnivorous, this has not always been so. During the early history of reptiles, several groups produced big-bodied herbivorous ****megafauna****, in the ****Paleozoic**** the ****Pareiasaurs**** and the ****synapsid****Dicynodonts****, and in the ****Mesozoic**** several lines of ****Dinosaurs****. Today the ****turtles**** are the only predominantly herbivorous reptile group, but several lines of ****agams**** and ****iguanas**** have developed to live wholly or partly from plants.**

**Herbivorous reptiles face the same problems of mastication as herbivorous mammals, but lacking the complex mammal teeth, quite a few species swallow rocks and pebbles to aid in digestion, so called ****gastrolithes****. **

"Blech, I don't envy those guys..."

**The rocks are washed around in the stomach helping to grind up plant matter. Fossil gastrolithes has also been found associated with ****sauropods****. ****Sea turtles****, ****crocodiles**** and ****marine iguanas**** also use the gastrolithes as ****ballast****, helping them to dive.**

**Nervous system**

**The reptilian nervous system contains the same basic part of the ****amphibian**** brain, but the reptile ****cerebrum**** and ****cerebellum**** are slightly larger. Most typical sense organs are well developed with certain exceptions most notably the ****snake****'s lack of external ears (middle and inner ears are present). There are twelve pairs of ****cranial nerves.**

**Reptiles are not generally considered particularly intelligent when compared to mammals and birds.**

"Excuse me, I am not an idiot! C'mon guys, do I look stupid to you?"

"Yes," said Primeape.

A huge fight broke out between the two and was only stopped when Mewtwo Psychiced the crap out of them. Afterwords he healed them up and taped their mouth's shut with psychic energy along with tying them up. Then he got onto the computer and started reading.

**Their brains fall well below those of mammals in ****size relative to the body****, the encephalisation quotient being about one tenth of that of crocodiles have brains in the higher size range and show a fairly complex social structure. Larger lizards like the ****monitors**** are known to exhibit complex behaviour, including cooperation. The ****Komodo dragon**** is known to engage in play.**

**Vision**

**Most reptiles are ****diurnal**** animals. The vision is typically adapted to daylight condition, with colour vision and advanced visual depth perception compared to amphibians and most mammals.**

Charmeleon started growling something but no one understood him. Mewtwo went on.

**In some species vision is reduced, such as ****blindsnakes****.****Some snakes have extra sets of visual organs (in the loosest sense of the word) in the form of pits sensitive to ****infrared**** radiation (heat). Such heat sensitive pits are particularly well developed in the ****pit vipers****, but also found in ****boas**** and ****pythons****. These allows the snakes to sense the body heat from birds and mammals, making pitvipers able to hunt rodents in the dark.**

**Reproductive**

At this Charmeleon started shaking furiously while Butterfree went pale and got into his fetel position yet again.

**Reptiles have ****amniote**** eggs with hard or leathery shells, requiring ****internal fertilization****.**

**Most reptiles reproduce sexually, though some are capable of ****asexual reproduction****. **

At this Pidgeot started laughing. "Hope you don't play with yourself too much, otherwise Ash could have a bunch of Charmander's on his hands!"

**All reproductive activity occurs with the ****cloaca****, the single exit/entrance at the base of the tail where waste is also eliminated. Tuataras lack copulatory organs, so the male and female simply press their cloacas together as the male excretes sperm.**

"Okay, too much information," said Pikachu. Butterfree started shaking.

**Most reptiles, however, have copulatory organs, which are usually retracted or inverted and stored inside the body. In turtles and crocodilians, the male has a single median ****penis****, while squamates including snakes and lizards possess a pair of ****hemipenes****.**

**Most reptiles lay amniotic eggs covered with leathery or calcareous shells. An ****amnion****, ****chorion****, and ****allantois**** are present during ****embryonic**** life. There are no ****larval**** stages of development. ****Viviparity**** and ****ovoviviparity**** have only evolved in Squamates, and a substantial fraction of the species utilize this mode of reprduction, including all boas and most vipers. The degree of viviparity varies: some species simply retain the eggs until just before hatching, others provide maternal nourishment to supplement the yolk, and yet others lack any yolk and provide all nutrients via a structure similar to the mammalian ****placenta****.**

**Asexual reproduction has been identified in ****squamates**** in six families of lizards and one snake. In some species of squamates, a population of ****females are able to produce a unisexual diploid clone of the mother. **

"Hmm, so you can't reproduce by yourself," said Pidgeot.

**This asexual reproduction called ****parthenogenesis**** occurs in several species of ****gecko****, and is particularly widespread in the ****teiids**** (especially **_**Aspidocelis**_**) and ****lacertids**** (**_**Lacerta**_**). In captivity, **_**Komodo dragons**_** (varanidae) have reproduced by parthenogenesis.**

"Or maybe not."

**Parthenogenetic species are also suspected to occur among ****chameleons****,**

"Ha! You do!" said Pidgeot smugly. Charmeleon gave him the evil look.

**agamids****, ****xantusiids****, and ****typhlopids****.**

**Some reptiles also have temperature-dependent sex determination (TDSD), in which the incubation temperature determines whether a particular egg hatches as male or female. TDSD is most common within turtles and crocodiles, but also occurs in lizards and tuataras. To date, there has been no confirmation of TDSD in snakes, though it may exist.**

Mewtwo read the rest of it and said,"It looks like that's pretty much it." He went over to Charmeleon and Primeape and freed them both.

"Gaah! Whoever wrote this must have had been smoking from a Bulbasaur's bulb!" yelled Charmeleon.

"Aw, I'm glad you liked it," said Ultraman. "Anyways, readers be sure to review, and be back for when Mewtwo here reads his wiki page!"

"Ah goo-, huh wait wait!" said Mewtwo in alarm.

"Bye bye, see yah!"


	2. Mewtwo

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon.

Ultraman: Hello everybody, and welcome back to another episode of "When Pokemon Meet Wikipedia"! Joining us are Ash's current team from chapter 5 of Mewtwo:Journey Through Hoenn."

"Do we really have to be here?" whined Charmeleon. "I was busy training."

"You want me to dress you up like Naruto and send you over to Edfan's profile?" said Ultraman with a sweet tone.

"I'll be good," whimpered Charmeleon.

Ultraman:And as a bonus, here are the recent Oaked Pokemon, Butterfree, Primeape, and Pidgeot!

Pidgeot:ACHOO! Ughh, sorry I got a cold.

Ultraman:Sorry about that, a cheap plot point, now are you ready for this, Mewtwo?

Mewtwo:Like I have another choice?

Ultraman:Not in here you don't. Now read!

**The cat (**_**Felis catus**_**), also known as the ****domestic**** cat or housecat to distinguish it from other ****felines**** and ****felids****, is a small ****carnivorous****mammal**** that is valued by humans for its companionship and its ability to hunt ****vermin**** and household pests. **

Pikachu:Like what?

Ultraman:Maybe something like you.

Pikachu:0-0

**It has been associated with humans for at least 9,500 years and is currently the most popular pet in the world.**

Charmeleon:Then how come Ash didn't catch a cat-like Pokemon before?

Ultraman:So it wouldn't eat Pikachu.

**A skilled predator, the cat is known to hunt over 1,000 species for food. **

Ralts M:Great scott! It's no wonder your so amazingly strong!

**It can be trained to obey simple commands. **

Mewtwo:Simple commands?! I have an IQ higher than a Alakazam!

**Individual cats have also been known to learn on their own to manipulate simple mechanisms, such as doorknobs and toilet handles.**

Charmeleon:I'm surprised you can with the way your fingers are like.

Mewtwo:'stares at his fingers'

**Cats use a variety of ****vocalizations**** and types of ****body language**** for ****communication****, **

Charmeleon:Not this guy, your practically like a statue that talks without moving it's mouth.

Mewtwo:'glares at Charmeleon who rolls his eyes and then continues'

**including ****meowing****, ****purring****, trilling, ****hissing****, ****growling****, squeaking,**

Primeape:'starts snickering' You mean like Pikachu?!

Mewtwo and Pikachu:We don't squeak!

**chirping****, **

Mewtwo:I can assure you all I don't chirp!

Pidgeot:Neither do-ah ah ahhhhCHOOO!

**clicking****, and grunting. They are also bred and shown as ****registered**** pedigree pets. This hobby is known as ****cat fancy****.**

**Until recently the cat was commonly believed to have been domesticated in ****ancient Egypt****, where it was a ****cult**** animal. A study in 2007 found that the lines of descent of all house cats probably run through as few as five ****self-domesticating****African Wildcats**_**(Felis silvestris lybica)**_** circa 8000 BC, in the ****Near East****. **

Ultraman:Whoa, that's a pretty long time ago.

**The earliest direct evidence of cat domestication is a kitten that was buried with its owner 9,500 years ago in ****Cyprus****.**

Ultraman:A boy and his furry companion, kinda cliche.

**Nomenclature and etymology**

**The word **_**cat**_** derives from ****Old English**_**catt**_**, which belongs to a group of related words in ****European languages****, including Welsh **_**cath**_**, Spanish **_**gato**_**, Basque **_**katu**_**, ****Byzantine Greek**_**kátia**_**, ****Old Irish**_**cat**_**, ****German**_**Katze**_**, and ****Old Church Slavonic**_**kotka**_**. The ultimate source of all these terms is ****Late Latin**_**catus, cattus, catta**_** "domestic cat", as opposed to **_**feles**_** "European wildcat". It is unclear whether the Greek or the Latin came first, but they were undoubtedly borrowed from an ****Afro-Asiatic**** language akin to ****Nubian**_**kadís**_** and ****Berber**_**kaddîska**_**, both meaning "wildcat". This term was either cognate with or borrowed from ****Late Egyptian**_**čaus**_** "jungle cat, African wildcat" (later giving ****Coptic**_**šau**_** "tomcat"), itself from earlier ****Egyptian**_**tešau**_** "female cat" (vs. **_**miew**_** "tomcat"). The term **_**puss**_** (as in pussycat) may come from ****Dutch**_**poes**_** or from ****Low German**_**Puuskatte**_**, dialectal ****Swedish**_**kattepus**_**, or ****Norwegian**_**pus**_**, **_**pusekatt**_**, all of which primarily denote a woman and, by extension, a female cat.**

Charmeleon:That's very long and confusing.

**A group of cats is referred to as a "clowder", a male cat is called a "tom" (or a "gib", if neutered), **

All males in the dimension:'shudder'

**and a female is called a "molly" or "queen". The male progenitor of a cat, especially a pedigreed cat, is its "sire", and its female progenitor is ****its "dam".**

Pikachu: Try explaining that to kids.

**An immature cat is called a "****kitten****" (which is also an alternative name for young ****rats****, **

Pikachu:HUH?!

**rabbits****, ****hedgehogs****, ****beavers****, ****squirrels**** and ****skunks****). In ****medieval Britain****, the word **_**kitten**_** was interchangeable with the word **_**catling**_**. A cat whose ****ancestry**** is formally registered is called a ****pedigreed cat****, ****purebred cat****, or a ****show cat****. **

Charmeleon:In other words, one of those rich spoiled fat cats you might see in contests.

**In strict terms, a purebred cat is one whose ancestry contains only individuals of ****the same breed. A pedigreed cat is one whose ancestry is recorded, but may have ancestors of different breeds. Cats of unrecorded mixed ancestry are referred to as ****domestic longhairs**** and ****domestic shorthairs**** or commonly as random-bred, moggies, ****mongrels****, or mutt-cats.**

Primeape:'chuckles' Mutt cats.

**Taxonomy and evolution**

**The ****Felids**** are a rapidly evolving family of mammals that share a common ancestor only 10-15 million years ago,**** and include in addition to the domestic cat, lions, tigers, cougars, and many others.**

Ultraman:Hey, maybe we'll find out what kind of species of cat you are.

**Within this family, domestic cats (**_**Felis catus**_**) are part of the ****genus**_**Felis**_**, which is a group of small cats containing seven species. Members of the genus are found worldwide and include the ****Jungle Cat**** (**_**Felis chaus**_**) of southeast Asia, the ****African Wildcat**** (**_**Felis silvestris lybica**_**), the Chinese Mountain Cat (**_**Felis silvestris bieti**_**) and the Arabian ****Sand Cat**** (**_**Felis margarita**_**). All the cats in this genus share a common ancestor that probably lived around six million years ago in Asia. Although the exact relationships within the Felidae are still uncertain, both the Chinese Mountain Cat and the African Wildcat are close relations of the domestic cat and are both classed as ****subspecies**** of the ****Wildcat**_**Felis silvestris**_**. As domestic cats are little altered from wildcats, they can readily interbreed. This ****hybridization**** may pose a danger to the genetic distinctiveness of wildcat populations, particularly in ****Scotland**** and ****Hungary****.**

**The ****Sand Cat****, which lives in the ****Sahara**** and ****Arabian**** deserts, is a relative of the domestic cat.**

**The domestic cat was first classified as **_**Felis catus**_** by ****Carolus Linnaeus**** in the tenth edition of his **_**Systema Naturae**_** of 1758. However, due to modern ****phylogenetics****, domestic cats are now usually regarded as another subspecies of the Wildcat **_**Felis silvestris**_**. This has resulted in mixed usage of the terms, as the domestic cat can be called by its subspecies name, **_**Felis silvestris catus**_**. Wildcats have also been referred to as various subspecies of **_**F. catus**_**,****[25]**** but in 2003 the ****International ****Commission on Zoological Nomenclature**** fixed the name for Wildcats as **_**F. silvestris**_**. The most common name in use for the domestic cat remains **_**F. catus**_**, following a ****convention**** for domesticated animals of using the earliest (the senior) ****synonym**** proposed.****[26]**** Sometimes the domestic cat is called **_**Felis domesticus**_**,****[27]**** although this is not a valid scientific name.**

Ultraman:No hints at all. Hmm, maybe your not based off a specific species of cat, but have it the basic design or something.

Mewtwo:That could be it, my DNA came from a fossiled remant of Mew, some of the DNA chromosomes might have been missing.

Ultraman:That's probably the case. In fact on deviantart I saw a fancomic of your creation that had Persian DNA for your traits and Alakazam Dna for your base codes.

Mewtwo:Makes sense.

**Cats have either a ****mutualistic**** or ****commensal**** relationship with humans. However, in comparison to dogs, cats have not undergone major changes during the domestication process, as the form and behavior of the domestic cat are not radically different from those of wildcats and domestic cats are perfectly capable of surviving in the wild.****[29]****[30]**** Several natural behaviors and characteristics of Wildcats may have ****preadapted**** them for domestication as pets.****[30]**** These traits include their small size, **

Mewtwo:I'm taller than Ash.

**social nature, **

Charmeleon:Which is lacking.

**obvious body language, love of play**

Mewtwo:That's not me, though Mew would fit that description.

**and relatively high intelligence.****[31]**

Mewtwo:Now this is starting to correspond to me.

**All the small Felids may also have an inborn tendency towards tameness.****[30]**

**There are two main models for how cats were domesticated. In one model, people deliberately tamed cats in a process of ****artificial selection****, as they were useful predators of vermin.****[32]**** However, some theorists find this implausible, because there may have been little reward for such an effort: cats do not carry out commands and, although they do eat rodents, other species such as ****ferrets**

Ultraman**:Furret.**

**or ****terriers**** may be better at controlling these pests.****[4]**** The alternative idea is that cats were simply tolerated by people and gradually diverged from their 'wild' relatives through ****natural selection****, as they adapted to hunting the vermin found in human settlements.****[4**

Mewtwo:Makes much more sense.

**Anatomy**

Charmeleon:Ah, here comes the embarrassment.

**Domestic cats are similar in size to the other members of the genus **_**Felis**_**, typically weighing between four and five kilograms.****[21]**** However, some ****breeds****, such as the ****Maine Coon****, can exceed 11 kilograms (25 lb). Conversely, very small cats (less than 1.8 kilograms (4.0 lb)) have been reported.****[33]**** The world record for the largest cat is 21.297 kilograms (46.952 lb) (46 lb 15.25 oz).****[34]**

Primeape:Talk about a fat cat, eh Mewtwo?

Mewtwo:'Psychic's Primeape'

**The smallest adult cat ever officially recorded weighed around 1.36 kilograms (3 lb).****[35]**** Cats average about 23–25 centimeters (9–10 in) in height and 46 centimeters (18.1 in) in head/body length (males being larger than females), with tails averaging 30 centimeters (11.8 in) in length.****[36]**

**Cats have 7 ****cervical vertebrae**** like almost all ****mammals****, 13 ****thoracic vertebrae**** (humans have 12), 7 ****lumbar vertebrae**** (humans have 5), 3 ****sacral vertebrae**** like most mammals (humans have 5 because of their bipedal posture), and a variable number of ****caudal vertebrae**** in the tail (humans retain 3 to 5 caudal vertebrae, fused into an internal ****coccyx****).****[37]**** The extra lumbar and thoracic vertebrae account for the cat's spinal mobility and flexibility. Attached to the spine are 13 ribs, the shoulder, and the ****pelvis****.****[38]**** Unlike human arms, cat forelimbs are attached to the shoulder by free-floating ****clavicle bones****, which allows them to pass their body through any space into which they can fit their heads.****[39]**

Ultraman:Let's see if it's true! 'ties Mewtwo up and tries to shove him between a narrow hole. It doesn't work.'

**Skull of a domestic cat.**

**The cat skull is unusual among mammals in having very large ****eye sockets**

Mewtwo:Well, probably not my eyes but Mew's do seem to quite large in comparison to her head.

Ultraman:Only in some pictures, though.

**and a powerful and specialized jaw.****[40]**** Within the jaw, cats have ****teeth**** adapted for killing prey and tearing meat. **

Charmeleon:Hey, let's see your teeth. Maybe you have fangs!

Mewtwo:'Opens mouth to reveal surprisingly human like teeth'

Ultraman:Wow, I didn't even think you had teeth.

Mewtwo:How else could I eat food?

Ultraman:Well, you were never shown actually eating in the anime, I just thought that maybe you had another way of getting nutrients for your body.

**When they overpower prey, a cat delivers a lethal neck bite with its two long ****canine teeth**** that insert between two of the prey's ****vertebrae**** and sever its ****spinal cord****, causing irreversible ****paralysis**** and death.****[41]**

Butterfree:'gasps' Your a murderer!

Mewtwo:I've never even killed a single- 'has a flashback to Pokemon the First Movie' Well not in that way at least.

**Compared to other felines, domestic cats have narrowly-spaced canine teeth, which is an adaptation to their preferred prey of small rodents, which have small vertebrae.****[41]**** The ****premolar**** and ****first molar**** together compose the ****carnassial**** pair on each side of the mouth, which efficiently ****shears meat into small pieces, like a pair of ****scissors****. These are vital in feeding, since cats' small ****molars**** cannot chew food effectively.****[42]**

Mewtwo:I can chew just fine, thank you.

**Cats, like dogs, are ****digitigrades****. They walk directly on their ****toes****, with the ****bones**** of their feet making up the lower part of the visible leg.****[43]**

**Cats are capable of walking very precisely, because like all ****felines**** they directly register; that is, they place each hind paw (almost) directly in the print of the corresponding forepaw, minimizing noise and visible tracks. This also provides sure footing for their hind paws when they navigate rough terrain.**

**Like almost all members of the ****Felidae****family****, cats have protractable ****claws****.****[44]**

Charmeleon:Whoa, seriously?

Mewtwo:Isn't it a little obvious I do not have claws? 'His fingers/paws suddenly grow purplish 1 inch long claws.

Pikachu:Holy shit! Ultraman, did you do that?

Ultraman:I plead the Fifth.

**In their normal, relaxed position the claws are sheathed with the ****skin**** and ****fur**** around the ****toe pads****. This keeps the claws sharp by preventing wear from contact with the ground and allows the silent stalking of prey.**

Primeape:Your a stalker Mewtwo!

Mewtwo:'Shadow Ball's Primeape'

**The claws on the forefeet are typically sharper than those on the hind ****feet.****[45]**** Cats can voluntarily extend their claws on one or more paws. They may extend their claws in hunting or self-defense, climbing, "****kneading****", or for extra traction on soft surfaces (bedspreads, thick rugs, etc.). It is also possible to make a cooperative cat extend its claws by carefully pressing both the top and bottom of the paw.**

**Most cats have five claws on their front paws, and four on their rear paws.****[46]**** The fifth front claw (the ****dewclaw****) is ****proximal**** to the other claws. More proximally, there is a protrusion which appears to be a sixth "finger". This special feature of the front paws, on the inside of the wrists, is the carpal pad, also found on the paws of ****big cats**** and dogs. It has no function in normal walking, but is thought to be an anti-skidding device used while jumping. Some breeds of cats are prone to ****polydactylyism****, and may have eight or even ten toes.****[46]**

**Pikachu:What's wrong with eight or ten toes? I have....SIX TOES!!! AGGGHH! 'starts freaking out'**

**These are particularly common along the North-East coast of ****North America****.****[47****]**

**Senses Main article: ****Cat senses**

**Cats have excellent ****night vision**** and can function at only one-sixth the light level required for human vision.****[48]**

Mewtwo:That one's actually true, believe it or not.

**This is partly the result of cat eyes having a ****tapetum lucidum****, which ****reflects any light that passes through the ****retina**** back into the eye, thereby increasing the eye's sensitivity to dim light.****[49]**** Another adaptation to dim light is the large pupils of cats' eyes. Unlike some big cats, such as ****tigers****, domestic cats have slit ****pupils****.****[50]**** These slit pupils ****can focus bright light without ****chromatic aberration****, and are needed since the domestic cat's pupils are much larger, relative to their eyes, than the pupils of the big cats.****[50]**** Indeed, at low light levels a cat's pupils will expand to cover most of the exposed surface of its eyes.****[51]**** However, domestic cats have rather poor ****color vision**** and can only see two colors: blue and green, and are less able to distinguish between red and green,****[52]**** although they can achieve this in some conditions.****[53]**

Ultraman:Then your not a housecat per say, but you are domesticated.

**Cats' whiskers are highly sensitive to touch.**

Charmeleon:Doesn't matter, you have no whiskers!

Mewtwo:I probably would look better without them.

**Cats have excellent hearing and can detect an extremely broad range of frequencies. **

Ultraman:Can you? I mean your ears don't exactly look like they work well.

Mewtwo:No, my hearing is only significantly better than the average human.

**They can hear higher-pitched sounds than either dogs or humans, detecting frequencies from 55 ****Hz**** up to 79 ****kHz****, a range of 10.5 ****octaves****; while humans can only hear from 31 Hz up to 18 kHz, and dogs hear from 67 Hz to 44 kHz, which are both ranges of about 9 octaves.****[54]****[55]****Cats do not use this ability to hear ****ultrasound**** for communication but it is probably important in hunting,****[56]**** since many species of rodents make ultrasonic calls.****[57]**** Cats' hearing is also extremely sensitive and is among the best of any mammal,****[54]**** being most acute in the range of 500 Hz to 32 kHz.****[58]**** This sensitivity is further enhanced by the cat's large movable outer ears (their **_**pinnae**_**), which both amplify sounds and help a cat sense the direction from which a noise is coming.****[56]**

**Cats have an acute sense of smell, **

Ultraman:Shove's a extremelly smelly sock in Mewtwo's nose causing him to pass out. 'laughs and then takes over'

**which is due in part to their well-developed ****olfactory bulb**** and also to a large surface of ****olfactory mucosa****, in cats this mucosa is about 5.8 cm****2**** in area, which is about twice that of humans and only 1.7-fold less than the average dog.****[59]**** Cats respond strongly to the smell of ****nepetalactone****, a compound found in ****catnip****, and can detect this substance at less than one part per billion.****[60]**** Cats are also sensitive to ****pheromones**** such as ****3-Mercapto-3-methylbutan-1-ol****,****[61]**** which they use to communicate through urine spraying and marking with scent glands.****[62]**

**Due to a mutation in an early cat ancestor, one of two genes necessary to taste ****sweetness**** may have been lost by the cat family.****[63]**

Heracross:Oh, that's spending your entire life not even enjoying the pleasure that comes from honey or sap.

Butterfree:No wonder he's so serious all the time, he's never tasted anything sweet.

Ultraman:I wouldn't talk if I were you.

Heracross:What do you mean?

Ultraman:You know what I mean, Bulba Blow jobber.

**Their ****taste buds**** instead respond to amino acids, bitter tastes and acids.**

Everyone except Mewtwo:Yuck!

**To aid with navigation and sensation, cats have dozens of movable ****vibrissae**** (whiskers) over their body, especially their face. These provide information on the location of objects in the dark, both by touching objects directly and by sensing air currents; they also trigger protective ****blink reflexes**** to protect the eyes from damage.****[65]**

Ultraman:'reads down' This genetics isn't much to look at but listen to this...

**As well as being tolerant of high temperatures, cats' feces are usually dry and their urine is also highly concentrated, both of which are adaptations that allow cats to retain as much fluid as possible.****[27]**** Indeed, their kidneys are so efficient that cats can survive on a diet consisting only of meat, with no additional water,****[81]**** and can even rehydrate by drinking ****seawater****.****[82]****[83]**

Pikachu:So he could get stranded on a island but as long as he has something solid, he'll be fine.

**Cats are ****obligate****carnivores****: their ****physiology**** has evolved to efficiently process meat, and they have difficulty digesting plant matter.****[27]**** In contrast to ****omnivores**** such as ****rats****, which only require about 4% protein in their diet, about 20% of a cat's diet must be protein.****[27]**** Cats are unusually dependent on a constant supply of the ****amino acid****arginine****, and a diet lacking arginine causes marked weight loss and can be rapidly ****fatal.****[84]**** Another unusual feature is that the cat also cannot produce the amino acid ****taurine****, with taurine deficiency causing ****macular degeneration****, where the cat's retina slowly degenerates, causing irreversible blindness.****[27]**

Ultraman:He's gonna be like Itachi one day!

Ralts F:You mean that evil villain?

Ultraman:Only in the Abridged version and in fanfics.

**Since cats tend to eat all of their prey, they obtain minerals by digesting animal bones and a diet composed only of meat may cause ****calcium**** deficiency.****[27]**

**A cat's ****digestive tract**** is also adapted to meat eating, being much shorter than that of omnivores and having low levels of several of the ****digestive enzymes**** that are needed to digest carbohydrates.****[85]**** These traits severely limits the cat's ability to digest and use plant-derived nutrients, as well as certain ****fatty acids****.****[85]**** Despite the cat's meat-oriented physiology, several vegetarian or vegan cat foods have been marketed that are supplemented with ****chemically synthesized**** taurine and other nutrients, in attempts to produce a complete diet. However, some of these products still fail to provide all the nutrients that cats require,**** and diets containing no animal products pose the risk of causing severe nutritional deficiencies.**

**Health**

**Main article: ****Cat health**

**In captivity, indoor cats typically live 14 to 20 years, although the oldest ****known cat, ****Creme Puff****, lived to age 38.**

Pikachu:Wait a minute, come to think of it, how old is Mewtwo?

Ultraman:'Opens another web page and starts browsing around' Well, his date of birth was in Feb 6, and the japanese version of Pokemon Red and Green came out in 1996 so he's 13 years old now I guess.

Butterfree:Oh no! He's got only one year left to life! And we were just getting to know him....

Ultraman:Relax, he's a lot tougher than you average variety cat, that's for sure...though I have heard that clones do age faster because of their older DNA...

**Some say that domesticated cats tend to live longer if they are not permitted to go outdoors (reducing the risk of injury from fights or accidents and exposure to diseases). **

Charmeleon:In that case, he should stop copying Pikachu's role as a walker Pokemon and just go back in the ball.

Ultraman:Practically all of you are steering towards that role as well you know.

**However, this is not always necessarily true, because a cat kept indoors is more inclined to have a shortened life due to obesity (sometimes leading to heart problems and diabetes) and lack of exercise. **

Charmeleon:Oh yeah, I forgot about that.

**Having a cat be ****neutered****, however, is almost universally regarded as a health benefit. **

Pikachu:Health benefit?! How would you like it if someone decided to chop of your balls and emasculate you in the worst possible way imaginable?!

**Some benefits of neutering are that castrated males cannot develop ****testicular cancer****, spayed females cannot develop ****uterine**** or ****ovarian cancer****, and both have a reduced risk of ****mammary cancer****.****[89]**

Pikachu:I'd rather take that risk anyways!

Ultraman:Why, do you actually use it on a girl?

Pikachu:'blushes' Um well, you see...

Ultraman:Don't tell me, your a virgin.

Pikachu:N-no! Well, okay yes.

Primeape:'Start's laughing' Your freaking serious! Good grief, even I got some while I was training!

Pikachu:'starts stuttering' Well, I can't be the only Pokemon here right now who hasn't gotten any right?

Charmeleon:Sorry, but I had a night of pure pleasure with Charla one time. However, it was pretty awkward the next couple of days.

Pidgeot:I was the Alpha Male of those group of Pidgey's and Pidgeotto's, so you can guess what happened next.

Butterfree:'Falls into a fetel position'

Pikachu:'Looks at Heracross desperately'

Heracross:'chuckles nervously' Sorry pal, there was thing during mating season while I was wild...

Ralts M:Well luckily for you sir, me and my sister can join in this boat, though only because of our young age.

Pikachu:Oh thank Arceus.

Ultraman:Oi! We're in the early part of Hoenn, no Sinnoh stuff!

**The lifespan of feral cats is hard to determine accurately, although one study reported a ****median**** age of 4.7 years, with a range between 0 to 10 years.****[90]**

**Diseases**

**Cats can suffer from a wide range of health problems, including infectious diseases, parasites, injuries and chronic disease. ****Vaccinations**** are available for many of these diseases, and domestic cats are regularly given treatments to eliminate parasites such as worms and fleas.**

Charmeleon:Ouch, maybe he should just let a Nurse Joy examine him.

Ultraman:No dice, he's pretty adamant of not experiencing anything that resembles animal testing.

**Poisoning**

**In addition to obvious dangers such as ****rodenticides****, ****insecticides**** and ****weed killers****, cats may be poisoned by many chemicals that are usually considered safe.****[91]**** This is because their livers are less effective at some forms of ****detoxification**** than those of other animals, including humans and dogs.****[27]****[92]**** Some of the most common causes of poisoning in cats are antifreeze and rodent baits.****[93]**** It has also been suggested that cats may be particularly sensitive to environmental pollutants.****[91]****[94]**** When a cat has a sudden or prolonged serious illness without any obvious cause, it is therefore possible that it has been exposed to a toxin.**

Ultraman:Yesh, he's surprisingly fragile biologicaly.

**Human medicines should never be given to cats. For example, the painkiller ****paracetamol**** (also called acetaminophen), sold under brand names such as ****Tylenol**** and ****Panadol**** is extremely toxic to cats: even very small doses can be fatal and need immediate treatment.****[95]****[96]**** Even ****aspirin****, which is sometimes used to treat ****arthritis**** in cats, is much more toxic to them than to humans and must be administered cautiously.****[91]**** Similarly, application of ****minoxidil**** (Rogaine) to the skin of cats, either accidentally or by well-meaning owners attempting to counter loss of fur, has sometimes been fatal.****[97]****Essential oils**** can be toxic to cats and there have been reported cases of serious illnesses caused by ****tea tree oil****, and tea tree oil-based flea treatments and shampoos.****[98]**

Primeape:Sheesh!

**Other common household substances that should be used with caution around cats include ****mothballs**** and other ****naphthalene**** products.****[91]****Phenol****-based products are often used for cleaning and disinfecting near cats' feeding areas or litter boxes: such as ****Pine-Sol****, ****Dettol**** (Lysol) or ****hexachlorophene****,****[91]**** but these can sometimes be fatal.****[99]****Ethylene ****glycol****, often used as an automotive ****antifreeze****, is particularly appealing to cats, and as little as a teaspoonful can be fatal.****[100]**** Some human foods are toxic to cats; for example ****theobromine**** in ****chocolate**** can cause ****theobromine poisoning****, although few cats will eat chocolate.****[101]**

Ultraman:Now that really sucks.

**Large amounts of ****onions**** or ****garlic**** are also poisonous to cats.****[91]**

Pikachu:Who likes that much garlic anyways?

**Many ****houseplants**** are also dangerous,****[102]**** such as **_**Philodendron**_** species and the leaves of the ****Easter Lily****, which can cause permanent and life-threatening kidney damage.****[103]**

Butterfree:Does that mean Grass attacks are super effective on him?

**Behavior**

**Free-ranging cats are active both day and night, although they tend to be slightly more active at night.**

Ultraman:Then when do they sleep for long periods?

**The timing of cats' activity is quite flexible and varied, which means that house cats may be more active in the morning and evening (****crepuscular**** behavior), as a response to greater human activity at these times.****[106]**** House cats have territories that vary quite a lot in size, in one study ranging from seven to 28 ****hectares****.****[105]**** Although they spend the ****majority of their time in the vicinity of their home, they can range many hundreds of meters from this central point.****[105]**

**Cats conserve energy by sleeping more than most animals, especially as they grow older. The daily duration of sleep varies, usually 12–16 hours, ****with 13–14 being the average. Some cats can sleep as much as 20 hours in a 24-hour period. The term **_**cat nap**_** refers to the cat's ability to fall ****asleep (lightly) for a brief period and has entered the English lexicon—****someone who nods off for a few minutes is said to be "taking a cat nap".**

Ultraman:Oh yeah, a cat nap, or in this case, a Mew nap.

**Sociability**

**Cats are a social species, and free-living cats tend to form ****feral cat colonies**** if there is sufficient food, which are based around groups of co-operating females.****[107]**

Pikachu:Sounds like what he did with his clones.

**Within this group one cat is usually dominant over the others.****[108]**** Each cat in a colony holds a distinct territory, with sexually active males having the largest territories, which are about ten times larger than those of female cats and may overlap with several females' territories.****[62]**** These territories are marked by urine spraying, by rubbing objects at head height with secretions from facial glands and by defecation.****[62]**

Charmeleon:Ew, Pokemon just mark their territory by showcasing their power, not doing that!

**Between these territories are neutral areas where cats watch and greet one another without territorial conflicts. Outside these neutral areas, ****territory holders usually chase away stranger cats, at first by staring, hissing, and growling, and if that does not work, by short but noisy and violent attacks. Despite some cats cohabiting in colonies, cats do not have a social survival strategy, or a ****pack mentality**** and always hunt alone.**

**As part of cat sociability they use a variety of vocalizations for ****communication****, including meowing, purring, "trilling", hissing, growling, squeaking, chirping, clicking, and grunting.****[9]**** Their types of ****body language****: position of ears and tail, relaxation of whole body, kneading of paws, are all indicators of mood. The tail and ears are particularly important social signal in cats, with a raised tail acting as a friendly greeting.****[110]****[111]**** Tail raising also indicates the cat's position in the group's ****social hierarchy****, with dominant individuals raising their tails less often than subordinate animals.****[111]**** Nose-touching is also a common greeting and may be followed by ****social grooming****, which is solicited by one of the cats raising and tilting its head.****[107]**** However, some pet cats are poorly socialized. In particular older cats may show aggressiveness towards newly-arrived kittens, which may include biting ****and scratching; this type of behavior is known as Feline Asocial Aggression.****[112]**

**For cats, life in proximity with humans (and other animals kept by humans) amounts to a "symbiotic social adaptation". They may express great affection towards their human companions, especially if they ****imprint**** on them at a very young age and are treated with consistent affection. It has been suggested that, ****ethologically****, the human keeper of a cat functions as a sort of surrogate for the cat's mother, and that adult domestic cats live their lives in a kind of extended kittenhood, a form of behavioral ****neoteny****.****[113]**

Ultraman:In that case,

**Grooming**

**Cats are known for their fastidious cleanliness, spending many hours licking their coats.****[114]**** The cat's ****tongue**** has backwards-facing spines ****about 500 ****micrometres**** long, which are called ****papillae****. These are quite rigid as they contain ****keratin****.****[115]**** These spines allow cats to groom themselves by licking their fur, with the rows of papillae acting like a hairbrush. **

Ralts F:But Mewtwo does not have fur, or does he?

**Some cats, particularly longhaired cats, occasionally regurgitate ****hairballs**** of fur that have collected in their stomachs from grooming.**

Pikachu:He's definitely a hairless, I'd seen a hair ball by now.

**These clumps of fur are usually sausage-shaped and about two to three centimeters long. Hairballs can be prevented with remedies that ease elimination of the hair through the gut, as well as regular grooming of the coat with a comb or stiff brush.****[114]**

**Fighting**

**In domestic cats, males are more likely to fight than females.****[116]**

Ultraman:Explains why it took a while for Mew to start fighting back in the movie.

**In feral cats, the most common reason for ****cat fighting**** is when two males are competing to mate with a female: here most fights will be won by the heavier male.****[117]**** Another possible reason for fighting in domestic cats is when the cats have difficulties in establishing a territory within a small home.****[116]**** Female cats will also fight over territory or to defend their kittens. Spaying females and neutering males will decrease or eliminate this behavior in many cases.**

**Cats intimidate opponents by arching their backs, raising their fur, ****turning sideways, and ****hissing****.**

Charmeleon:No, he just generates a Shadow Ball, or glares, or gives a Pyschic, or maybe even all three.

**Fighting cats make themselves appear more impressive and threatening by raising their fur and arching their backs, thus increasing their apparent size.****[110]**** Attacks usually comprise powerful slaps to the face and body with the forepaws as well as bites, but serious damage is rare; usually the loser runs away with little more than a few scratches to the face, and perhaps the ears. Cats will also throw themselves to the ground in a defensive posture to rake their opponent's belly with their powerful hind legs.****[118]**

**Normally, serious injuries from fighting will be limited to infections of scratches and bites, though these can occasionally kill cats if untreated. In addition, bites are probably the main route of transmission of ****feline ****immunodeficiency virus**** (FIV).****[119]**** Sexually active males will usually be in many fights during their lives, and often have decidedly battered faces with obvious scars and cuts to the ears and nose.**

Charmeleon:I know what you mean, I've seen some pretty scarred up Charizard and let me tell you, they're freaking powerful.

**Hunting and feeding**

**Cats feed on small prey, primarily birds and rodents.**

Pidgeot:What?! He's gonna eat me!

Ultraman:It said small birds.

Pidgeot:But I'm smaller than he is!

Ultraman:Well, it sucks to be you.

**Play**

**Main article: ****Cat play and toys**

**Domestic cats, especially young kittens, are known for their love of play. This behavior mimics hunting and is important in helping kittens learn to ****stalk, capture, and kill**** prey.****[130]**** Cats will also engage in ****play ****fighting****, with each other and with humans. This behavior may be a way for cats to practice the skills needed for real combat and might also reduce any fear they associate with launching attacks on other animals.**

Pikachu:I think this applies to Mew.

**Reproduction**

Charmeleon:Here it comes...

**When cats mate, the male ****tom**** bites the scruff of the female's neck as she assumes a position conducive to ****mating****.**

Primeape:Well now we all know if Mewtwo's trying to claim a mate.

**Female cats are seasonally ****polyestrous****, which means they may have many periods of heat over the course of a year, the season beginning in January or February and ending in late October. **

**Heat periods occur about every two weeks and last about 4 to 7 days.**** Multiple males will be attracted to a female in heat. The males will fight over her, and the victor wins the right to mate. At first, the female will reject the male, but eventually the female will allow the male to mate. **

**Charmeleon:Sound's right so far.**

**The female will utter a loud yowl as the male pulls out of her. **

Pikachu:Do we wanna know why?

**This is because a male cat's ****penis**** has a band of about 120-150 backwards-pointing spines, **

Everyone:Holy shit!!!

**which are about one ****millimeter**** long;****[138]**** upon withdrawal of the penis, the spines rake the walls of the female's ****vagina****, which is a trigger for ****ovulation****. **

Charmeleon:And I thought my reproduction page was disturbing.

**After mating, the female will wash her ****vulva**** thoroughly. **

Pikachu:Don't know what that is, but she'll probably be at it for a while.

**If a male attempts to breed with her at this point, the female will attack him. After about 20 to 30 minutes, once the female is finished grooming, the cycle will repeat.**

Ultraman:She'll do it again?!?!?

**Because ovulation is not always triggered by a single mating, females may not be impregnated by the first male with which they mate. Furthermore, cats are ****superfecund****; that is, a female may mate with more than one male when she is in heat, meaning different kittens in a litter may have different fathers.**

Primeape:They're a bunch of skanks! Whores! Harlots!

Ralts F:'gasps'How dare you use that language in front of a young lady like myself, you primrose popinjay!

Ralts M:Sister! That's even worser than what Primeape said! Where did you even hear that?!

**The ****gestation**** period for cats is between 64–67 days, with an average length of 66 days. The size of a ****litter**** averages three to five kittens, with the first litter usually smaller than subsequent litters. Kittens are weaned at between six and seven weeks, and cats normally reach sexual maturity at 5–10 months (females) and to 5–7 months (males), although this can vary depending on breed. Females can have two to three litters per year, so may produce up to 150 kittens in their breeding span of around ten years.**

Ultraman:Hey, that's Mewtwo's Pokedex number!

**Cats are ready to go to new homes at about 12 weeks old,****[141]**** or when they are ready to leave their mother. Cats can be surgically ****sterilized**** (spayed or ****castrated****) as early as 7 weeks to limit unwanted reproduction.**

Charmeleon:'sighs' Cut down in their prime.

**This surgery also prevents undesirable sex-related behavior, such as aggression, ****territory marking**** (spraying urine) in males and yowling (calling) in females. Traditionally, this surgery was performed at around six to nine months of age, but it is increasingly being performed prior to ****puberty****, at about three to six months.****[143]**** In the USA approximately 80% of household cats are neutered.**

Ultrman:What a waste.

**Impact on birds**

Pidgeot:I don't like this, ACHOO!

**On islands, birds can contribute as much as 60% of a cat's diet.****[161]**** In nearly all cases, however, the cat cannot be identified as the sole cause for reducing the numbers of island birds, and in some instances eradication of cats has caused a '****mesopredator**** release' effect;****[162]**** where the suppression of top carnivores creates an abundance of smaller predators that cause a severe decline in their shared prey. Domestic cats are, however, known to be a contributing factor to the decline of many species; a factor that has ultimately led, in some cases, to extinction. ****The South Island Piopio****; ****Chatham Islands Rail****;****[163]**** the ****Auckland Islands Merganser****;****[164]**** and the ****common diving petrel****[165]**** are a few from a long list, with the most extreme case being the elimination of the flightless ****Stephen Island Wren****, by a single cat.**

Ultraman:Well, aren't you gong to say anything Pidgeot?

Pidgeot:If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything.

Ultraman:Roll's eyes and continues.

**It has long been common for cats to be eaten in some parts of ****China**** and in some other ****Asian**** countries.**

Charmeleon:Humans eats cats like a regular meal?!

Ultraman:Cat meat is what it is called.

**According to the Chengdu Business Daily, people in southern China's ****Guangdong**** province ate 10,000 cats a day. Animal People estimates that 4 million cats are killed and consumed in Asia every year.**

Ultraman:Well, I don't agree with that diet, but whom am I to judge another person's culture? Unless it goes into the extreme or something.

**Effects on human health**

**Because of their small size, domesticated house cats pose little physical danger to adult humans. However, in the USA cats inflict about 400,000 bites per year, with 90% of these bites coming from provoked animals; this number represents about one in ten of all animal bites.****[185]**** Many cat bites will become infected, sometimes with serious consequences such as ****cat-scratch disease****, or, more rarely, ****rabies****.**** Cats also pose a danger to pregnant women and ****immunosuppressed**** individuals, since their feces can transmit ****toxoplasmosis****.****[187]**** A large percentage of cats are infected with this parasite, with infection rates ranging around from 40 to 60% in both domestic and stray cats worldwide.**

Allergic reactions to cat dander and/or cat saliva are common. Some humans who are allergic to cats—typically manifested by hay fever, asthma, or a skin rash—quickly acclimate themselves to a particular animal and live comfortably in the same house with it, while retaining an allergy to cats in general. Whether the risk of developing allergic diseases such as asthma is increased or decreased by cat ownership is uncertain. Some owners cope with this problem by taking allergy medicine, along with bathing their cats frequently, since weekly bathing will reduce the amount of dander shed by a cat. There have also been attempts to breed hypoallergenic cats, which would be less likely to provoke an allergic reaction.

Pikachu:Well hopefully Ash isn't allergic to cats.

**As well as posing health risks, interactions with cats may improve health and reduce physical responses to stress: for example the presence of cats may moderate increased ****blood pressure****. Cat ownership may also improve psychological health by providing emotional support and dispelling feelings of depression, anxiety and loneliness. Indeed, their ability to provide companionship and friendship are common reasons given for owning a cat.**

Ultraman:Well, that is the reason Ash caught Mewtwo in the first place, he wanted another friend.

**Waste**

**Cats bury their urine and feces. **

Butterfree:Why would they want to do that?

Ultraman:Beats me.

Charmeleon:It might be gross,

**Indoor cats are usually provided with a ****litter box**** containing ****litter****, ****typically ****bentonite****, but sometimes other absorbent material such as shredded paper or wood chips, or sometimes ****sand**** or similar material. It should be cleaned daily and changed often, depending on the number of cats in a household and the type of litter; if it is not kept clean, a cat may be fastidious enough to find other locations in the house for urination or defecation. This may also happen for other reasons; for instance, if a cat becomes ****constipated**** and defecation is uncomfortable, it may associate the discomfort with the litter box and avoid it in favor of another location.**

**Daily attention to the litter box also serves as a monitor of the cat's health. Bentonite or clumping litter is a variation which absorbs urine into clumps which can be sifted out along with feces, and thus stays cleaner longer with regular sifting, but has sometimes been reported to cause health problems in some cats.****[205]**** Those with toxoplasmosis-infected cats living in habitat areas of ****sea otters****[206]**** may wish to dispose of droppings in the trash, rather than flushing them down the toilet.****[207]**** Some cats can be trained to use the human toilet, eliminating the litter box and its attendant expense, unpleasant odor, and the need to use landfill space for disposal. Training may involve four to six weeks of incremental moves, such as moving and elevating the litter box until it is near the toilet, as well as employing an adapter such as a bowl or small box to suspend the litter above the toilet bowl.**** When training is complete, the cat uses the toilet by squatting on the toilet seat over the bowl.**

Ultraman:All in favor of getting Mewtwo a litter box?

Everyone:Aye!

**History and mythology**

**In ****ancient Egypt**** cats were ****sacred animals****, with the ****Bast**** often depicted in cat form, sometimes taking on the warlike aspect of a lioness. The ****Romans**** are often credited with introducing the domestic cat from Egypt to ****Europe****. However, it is possible that cats were already kept in Europe ****prior to the ****Roman Empire****, as they may have already been present in Britain in the late ****Iron Age****. Domestic cats were spread throughout much of the rest of the world during the ****Age of Discovery****, as they were carried on ****sailing ships**** to control shipboard rodents and as good-luck charms.**

**Several ancient religions believed that cats are exalted souls, companions or guides for humans, that they are all-knowing but are mute so they cannot influence decisions made by humans. In Japan, the ****Maneki Neko**** is a cat that is a symbol of good fortune. Although there are no sacred species in Islam, some writers have stated that ****Muhammad**** had a favorite cat, ****Muezza****.****He is reported to have loved cats so much that "he would do without his cloak rather than disturb one that was sleeping on it".**

**Freyja****—the goddess of love, beauty, and fertility in ****Norse mythology****—is depicted as riding a chariot drawn by cats.**

Ultraman:Interesting...

**Many cultures have negative ****superstitions**** about cats. An example would be the belief that a ****black cat**** "crossing your path" leads to bad ****luck****, or that cats are witches' ****familiars**** used to augment a witch's powers and skills. This led to the widespread extermination of cats in ****Europe**** in ****medieval**** times. The ****Black Plague**** was spread by ****fleas**** carried by infected rats. The killing of cats in Medieval ****Ypres**** is commemorated in the innocuous present-day ****Kattenstoet**** (cat parade).**

**According to a myth in many cultures, cats have nine (or sometimes seven) lives. The myth is attributed to the natural suppleness and swiftness cats exhibit to escape life-threatening situations.**** Also lending credence to this myth is that ****falling cats**** often land on their feet because of an inbuilt automatic twisting reaction and are able to twist their bodies around to land feet first, though they can still be injured or killed by a high fall**

Ultraman:And that's it people!

Mewtwo:'finally wakes up' Ugh, so what did you learn?

Pikachu:I think you'd be better off not knowing.

Mewtwo:Perhaps you are right.

Ultraman:Okay, so now that we're at the end, it's time for questions!

Pokemon:Oh boy...

Ultraman:Question number 1, which of Ash's Pokemon have had the most epic battle in the anime series?

Charmeleon:That's a no brainer, it's me!

Ultraman:WRONG! It's Butterfree!

Butterfree:ME?!

Charmeleon:HIM?!

Ultraman:In the episode "The Challenge of the Samurai, the greatest battle in the anime was seen there. Metapod vs Metapod.

Butterfree:That was a sexual innuendo fight.

Ultraman:Question number 2, which of Ash's Pokemon would be able to beat Mewtwo in the 4th generation games?

Mewtwo:In the games? Well, given the right movesets and Nature, I'd say Heracross, Tauros, and Charizard with the Belly Drum set.

Ultraman:Correct! Now remember viewers, tune in next time for "When Pokemon meet Wikipedia" and starting now, you can ask each of the Pokemon one question per review!

Pikachu:Your gonna turn half of this into a Truth or Dare fic or make one, am I right?

Ultraman:You are correct rodent. Till we meet again!


	3. Squirtle

Disclaimer:I don't own Pokemon

Ultraman:Hello everybody! Here we are again with another chapter! This time our lucky Pokemon will be... Squirtle!

Squirtle:Ah fuck!

Pikachu:Better you than me.

Ultraman:This time the Pokemon joining us are Mewtwo and Ash's original six Pokemon.

Mewtwo:Any particular reason you sent specifically just me and these guys?

Ultraman:You'll see, anyways, Squirtle start reading!

**Turtles are reptiles** **of the order** **Testudines (the crown group** **of the superorder** **Chelonia), characterised by a special bony** **or cartilaginousshell** **developed from their ribs** **that acts as a shield. "Turtle" may either refer to the Testudines as a whole, or to particular Testudines which make up a form taxon** **that is not monophyletic**—**see also sea turtle, terrapin, tortoise, and the discussion below.** **The order Testudines includes both extant (living) and extinct** **species. The earliest known turtles date from 215 million** **years ago, making turtles one of the oldest reptile groups and a more ancient group than lizards** **and snakes.**

Squirtle:HA! Heard that Charmeleon? I'm more evolved than you are!

Charmeleon:No you aren't, you haven't even evolved even once!

Squirtle:Genetically I am, and beside's who's the one that got devolved?

Charmeleon:One warning bub, one warning.

**About 300 species** **are alive today, and some are highly endangered.**

Squirtle:HUH?! But my kind are tough and long lived, how can we be endangered?!

Ultraman:Just keep reading.

**Like other reptiles, turtles are ectotherms**—**varying their internal temperature according to the ambient environment, commonly called cold-blooded. **

Ultraman:'pokes Squirtle in the head'

Squirtle:Oi! What was that for?

Ultraman:You feel a little warm, must be because of the temperature around here.

**Anomalistically, leatherback sea turtle** **have higher body temperature than surrounding water since their high metabolic rate. Like other amniotes** **(reptiles, dinosaurs, birds, and mammals), they breathe air and do not lay eggs underwater,**

Squirtle:Of course we don't, the survival rate for our kids would get incredibly low, they have to learn how to swim first from above the water.

**although many species live in or around water. The largest turtles are aquatic** **Anatomy and morphology** _**Chelonia mydas**_ **in Kona, Hawaii** **The largest chelonian is the great leatherback sea turtle** **(**_**Dermochelys coriacea**_**), which reaches a shell length of 200 centimetres (6.6 ft) and can reach a weight of over 900 kilograms (2,000 lb). Freshwater turtles are ****generally smaller, but with the largest species, the Asian softshell turtle **_**Pelochelys cantorii**_**, a few individuals have been reported up to 200 centimetres (6.6 ft). **

Ultraman:Wow, that's even bigger than a Blastoise!

**This dwarfs even the better-known Alligator Snapping Turtle, the largest chelonian in North America, which attains a shell length of up to 80 centimetres (2.6 ft) and a weight of about 60 kilograms (130 lb). Giant tortoises of the genera **_**Geochelone**_**, **_**Meiolania**_**, and others were relatively widely distributed around the world into prehistoric times, and are known to have existed in North and South America, Australia, and Africa. They became extinct at the same time as the appearance of man, and it is assumed that humans hunted them for food. The only surviving giant tortoises** **are on the Seychelles** **and Galápagos Islands** **and can grow to over 130 centimetres (51 in) in length, and weigh about 300 kilograms (660 lb).[2]**

**The largest ever chelonian was **_**Archelon ischyros**_**, a Late Cretaceous** **sea turtle known to have been up to 4.6 metres (15 ft) long.**

Squirtle:'whistles' They probably were able to kick an Electric types ass into the ground!

Pikachu:'zaps Squirtle'

**The smallest turtle is the Speckled Padloper Tortoise** **of South Africa. It measures no more than 8 centimetres (3.1 in) in length and weighs about 140 grams (4.9 oz). **

Squirtle:'snickers' I can beat that!

Bulbasaur:Most turtles in real life are probably bigger than you though.

**Two other species of small turtles are the American mud turtles** **and musk turtles** **that live in an area that ranges from Canada** **to South ****America. The shell length of many species in this group is less than 13 centimetres (5.1 in) in length.**

**Neck folding**

**Turtles are broken down into two groups, according to how they evolved a solution to the problem of withdrawing their neck into their shell (something the ancestral **_**Proganochelys**_ **could not do): the Cryptodira, which can draw their neck in while contracting it under their spine; and the Pleurodira, which contract their neck to the side.**

Pidgeot:So your a Cryptodira then.

**Most turtles that spend most of their life on land have their eyes looking down at objects in front of them. Some aquatic turtles, such as snapping turtles and soft-shelled turtles, have eyes closer to the top of the head. These species of turtles can hide from predators in shallow water where they lie entirely submerged except for their eyes and nostrils. Sea turtles possess glands near their eyes that produce salty tears that rid their body of excess salt** **taken in from the water they drink.**

Charmeleon:Aw, don't cry Squirtle.

Squirtle:I don't cry! May's Squirtle in the cannon anime on the other hand...

**Turtles are thought to have exceptional night vision due to the unusually large number of rod cells** **in their retinas. Turtles have color vision with a wealth of cone subtypes with sensitivities ranging from the near Ultraviolet (UV A) to Red. Some land turtles have very poor pursuit movement** **abilities, which are normally reserved for predators that hunt quick moving prey, but carnivorous turtles are able to move their heads quickly to snap.**

Ultraman:How well do you see exactly?

Squirtle:I see well enough.

**Turtles have a rigid beak. **

Pidgeot:A PEAK?!

Squirtle:A WHAT?! How can you mix up this 'points at mouth and Pidgeot's beak' with that!

**Turtles use their jaws** **to cut and chew food. **

Squirtle:That's true, I can bite enough to use the move in battle.

**Instead of teeth, the upper and lower jaws of the turtle are covered by horny ridges. **

Squirtle:Okay, not true.

**Carnivorous turtles usually have knife-sharp ridges for slicing through their prey. Herbivorous turtles have serrated-edged ridges that help them cut through tough plants. Turtles use their tongues to swallow food, but they cannot, unlike most reptiles, stick out their tongues to catch food.**

Squirtle:I don't need to, but I can stick out my tongue if I want. 'to emphasis, he sticks out tongue'

**Shell**

**The upper shell of the turtle is called the **_**carapace**_**. The lower shell that encases the belly is called the **_**plastron**_**. The carapace and plastron are ****joined together on the turtle's sides by bony structures called **_**bridges**_**. The inner layer of a turtle's shell is made up of about 60 bones that includes portions of the backbone and the ribs, meaning the turtle cannot crawl out of its shell. **

Squirtle:I wouldn't want to anyways.

Charmeleon:Yeah, he'd be naked, and who would want to see that?

**In most turtles, the outer layer of the shell is covered by horny scales called scutes** **that are part of its outer skin, or epidermis. Scutes are made up of a fibrous protein** **called keratin** **that also makes up the scales of other reptiles. These scutes overlap the seams between the shell bones and add strength to the shell. Some turtles do not have horny scutes. For example, the leatherback sea turtle and the soft-shelled turtles have shells covered with leathery skin instead.**

Ultraman:'taps Squirtle's shell' Yep, definitely leathery.

**The rigid shell means that turtles cannot breathe as other reptiles do, by changing the volume of their chest cavity via expansion and contraction of the ribs. Instead, turtles breathe in two ways. First, they employ buccal pumping, pulling air into their mouth then pushing it into the lungs via oscillations of the floor of the throat. Secondly, by contracting the abdominal muscles that cover the posterior opening of the shell, the internal volume of the shell increases, drawing air into the lungs, allowing these muscles to function in much the same way as the mammalian diaphragm.**

Butterfree:Sounds pretty complex.

Squirtle:Yeah, but it's pretty close to how I breathe.

**The shape of the shell gives helpful clues to how the turtle lives. Most tortoises have a large dome-shaped shell that makes it difficult for predators to crush the shell between their jaws. **

**One of the few exceptions is the African pancake tortoise** **which has a flat, flexible shell that allows it to hide in rock crevices. Most aquatic turtles have flat, streamlined shells which aid in swimming and diving. American snapping turtles** **and musk turtles** **have small, cross-shaped plastrons that give them more efficient leg movement for walking along the bottom of ponds and streams.**

**The color of a turtle's shell may vary. Shells are commonly colored brown, black, or olive green. In some species, shells may have red, orange, yellow, or grey markings and these markings are often spots, lines, or irregular blotches. One of the most colorful turtles is the eastern Painted Turtle** **which includes a yellow plastron and a black or olive shell with red markings around the rim.**

Squirtle:Hmm, maybe I should consider dyeing my shell...

**Tortoises, being land-based, have rather heavy shells. In contrast, aquatic and soft-shelled turtles have lighter shells that help them avoid sinking in water and swim faster with more agility. **

Squirtle:Which helps me walk on land more easily.

**These lighter shells have large spaces called fontanelles** **between the shell bones. The shell of a leatherback turtle is extremely light because they lack scutes and contain many fontanelles.**

Squirtle:But luckily for me, my shell is still very durable.

**Skin and molting**

**Snapping Turtle Tail. Blue Hills Reservation, Massachusetts**

**As mentioned above, the outer layer of the shell is part of the skin, each scute (or plate) on the shell corresponding to a single modified scale. The remainder of the skin is composed of skin with much smaller scales, similar to the skin of other reptiles. Turtles and terrapins do not molt their skins all in one go, as snakes do, but continuously, in small pieces. When kept in aquaria, small sheets of dead skin can be seen in the water (often appearing to be a thin piece of plastic) having been sloughed off when the animal deliberately rubs itself against a piece of wood or stone.**

Squirtle:Yeah, I usaully have Bulbasaur or Pikachu rub a stone against me once in a while.

**Tortoises also shed skin, but a lot of dead skin is allowed to accumulate into thick knobs and plates that provide protection to parts of the body outside the shell.**

**By counting the rings formed by the stack of smaller, older scutes on top of the larger, newer ones, it is possible to estimate the age of a turtle, if you know how many scutes are produced in a year.[4]** **This method is not very accurate, partly because growth rate is not constant, but also because some of the scutes eventually fall away from the shell.**

**Limbs**

**Terrestrial tortoises have short, sturdy feet. Tortoises are famous for moving slowly, in part because of their heavy, cumbersome shell, which restricts stride length.**

Ultraman:Is that why you didn't evolve into Blastoise? You never really gave any desire to evolve or not in the anime.

Squirtle:I didn't want to lose most of my speed, besides Ash usually works better with agile, hard hitting Pokemon anyways. I did want to evolve into a Wartortle, cause let's face I'd look badass with my sunglasses and arms crossed in that form. However, it takes a special amount of skill to look cute and still be badass, so I stayed as a Squirtle. But who knows, maybe I'll change my mind one day.

**The amphibious turtles normally have limbs similar to those of tortoises except that the feet are webbed and often have long claws.**

Squirtle:I can't use Scratch, that's Charmeleon's thing though I don't think you've ever used it.

Charmeleon:Before I met Ash I occasionally used it.

**These turtles swim using all four feet in a way similar to the dog paddle,**

Squirtle:I do, but sometimes I swim in different styles.

**with the feet on the left and right side of the body alternately providing thrust. Large turtles tend to swim less than smaller ones, and the very big species, such as alligator snapping turtles, hardly swim at all, preferring to simply walk along the bottom of the river or lake. As well as webbed feet, turtles also have very long claws, used to help them clamber onto riverbanks and floating logs, upon which they like to bask. Male turtles tend to have particularly long claws, and these appear to be used to stimulate the female while mating. **

Squirtle:No we don't, we-'get's hit on the head by Ultraman.

Ultraman:How about we skip the creepy reproduction parts this time?

**While most turtles have webbed feet, some, such as the Pig-nosed Turtle,**

Charmeleon:'snicker's Pig nose.

Squirtle:Oh shut it, you!

**have true flippers, with the digits being fused into paddles and the claws being relatively small. These species swim in the same way as sea turtles (see below).**

**Sea turtles are almost entirely aquatic and have flippers** **instead of feet. Sea turtles fly through the water, using the up-and-down motion of the front flippers to generate thrust; the back feet are not used for propulsion but may be used as rudders** **for steering. Compared with freshwater turtles, sea turtles have very limited mobility on land, and apart from the dash from the nest to the sea as hatchlings, male sea turtles normally never leave the sea. **

Pidgeot:So your more on the lines of a freshwater turtle.

**Females must come back onto land to lay eggs. They move very slowly and laboriously, dragging themselves forwards with their flippers.**

**Ecology and life history**

**Although many turtles spend large amounts of their lives underwater, all turtles and tortoises breathe air, and must surface at regular intervals to refill their lungs. **

Ultraman:Really? When I was a kid, I thought you could breathe underwater.

Squirtle:I don't gills, so I can't pull that off, eventually I'll have to go back up for air.

**They can also spend much of their lives on dry land. Aquatic respiration in Australian freshwater turtles is currently being studied. Some species have large cloacal** **cavities that are lined with many finger-like projections. These projections, called papillae, have a rich blood supply, and increase the surface area of the cloaca. The turtles can take up dissolved oxygen** **from the water using these papillae, in much the same way that fish use gills** **to respire.**

Squirtle:Must not have it then, or I don't know how to use it.

**Turtles lay eggs, like other reptiles, which are slightly soft and leathery. The eggs of the largest species are spherical, while the eggs of the rest are elongated. **

Squirtle:The second one sounds right.

Pikachu:How do you know?

Squirtle:.......I'd rather not tell you.

**Their albumen is white and contains a different protein than bird eggs, such that it will not coagulate when cooked. **

Squirtel:'blink blink' Cooked?

**Turtle eggs prepared to eat consist mainly of yolk.**

Squirtle:I really don't like where this is going...

Charmeleon:I do...

**In some species, temperature determines whether an egg develops into a male or a female: a higher temperature causes a female, a lower temperature causes a male. **

Squirtle:That's why for the most part female Squirtles are fairly rare in the wild. Usually they're more common when bred.

**Large numbers of eggs are deposited in holes dug into mud or sand. They are then covered and left to incubate by themselves. When the turtles hatch, they squirm their way to the surface and head toward the water. There are no known species in which the mother cares for the young.**

Pikachu:'gasps' Your mother...abandoned you?!

Squirtle:Alright she did! But it's alright, I've gotten over it, had to make it my own right from the start.

**Sea turtles lay their eggs on dry, sandy beaches. Immature sea turtles are not cared for by the adults. Turtles can take many years to reach breeding age, and in many cases breed every few years rather than annually.**

Squirtle:Same for my species, but we don't always do it for breeding...

Pikachu:.....................I can't wait for Diamond and Pearl.

Ultraman:Dawn's Buneary?

Pikachu:Lopunny.

**Researchers have recently discovered a turtle's organs do not gradually break down or become less efficient over time, unlike most other animals. It was found that the liver, lungs, and kidneys of a centenarian turtle are virtually indistinguishable from those of its immature counterpart. This has inspired genetic researchers to begin examining the turtle genome for longevity genes.**

Squirtle:Hey, I just realized something, I know a way to beat the rest of the original team!

Pikachu:Please, you couldn't even beat Ritchie's Butterfree.

Squirtle:He used Sleep Powder! It doesn't really count! Here's the plan, in fifty years or so, you will all be wrinkled up and weak while I stay in my prime! And then I will take my position as the strongest member of the original six! Ha! It's brilliant, brilliant I tell you!!! MUAHAHAHHA!

**Systematics and evolution**

**Main article: List of Testudines families**

**Although the word turtle is widely used to describe all members of the order Testudines, it is also common to see certain members described as ****terrapins, tortoises or sea turtles as well. Precisely how these alternative names are used, if at all, depends on the type of English being used.**

**British English** **normally describes these reptiles as turtles if they live in the sea; terrapins if they live in fresh or brackish water; or tortoises if they live on land. However, there are exceptions to this where American or Australian common names are in wide use, as with the Fly River ****turtle. **

**American English** **tends to use the word turtle for all freshwater species, as well as for certain land-dwelling species (e.g. box turtles). Oceanic species are usually referred to as sea turtles, and tortoise is restricted to members of the true tortoise family, Testudinidae. The name terrapin is typically reserved only for the brackish water diamondback terrapin, **_**Malaclemys terrapin**_**; the word terrapin being derived from the Algonquian** **word for this animal.[10]**

**Australian English** **uses turtle for both the marine and freshwater species but tortoise for the terrestrial species. **

**To avoid confusion, the word chelonian is popular among veterinarians, scientists, and conservationists working with these animals as a catch-all name for any member of the superorder Chelonia** **which includes all turtles, tortoises and terrapins living and extinct, as well as their immediate ancestors. It is based on the Ancient Greek** **word χελώνη, **_**chelōnē**_**; Modern Greek** **χελώνα, **_**chelōna**_**; meaning turtle/tortoise.**

Squirtle:Make up your mind on what you want to call us already.

**As pet**

**Turtles, particularly small terrestrial and freshwater turtles, are commonly kept as pets. Among the most popular are **

Squirtle:ME!!!

Ultraman:Read the page!

**Russian Tortoises, Spur-thighed Tortoises, and Red-eared sliders** **(or Red-eared terrapin).**

Squirtle:Darn...

**In the United States, due to the ease of contracting salmonella** **through casual contact with turtles, **

Bulbasaur:'0-0' You contract salmonella?! And I'm only finding this out now?!

Squirtle:Relax, I'm sure I don't whatever that thing is.

**the U.S. Food and Drug Administration** **(FDA) established a regulation in 1975 to discontinue the sale of turtles under 4 inches. It is illegal in every state in the U.S. for anyone to sell any turtles under 4 inches long. Many stores and flea markets still sell small turtles due to a loophole in the FDA regulation which allows turtles under 4 inches to be sold for educational purposes.**

Squirtle:What kind of educational purposes?

Ultraman:'shrugs'

**Some states have other laws and regulations regarding possession of Red-eared Sliders (abbreviated as RES) as pets because they are looked upon as invasive species** **or pests where they are not native but have been introduced through the pet trade. As of July 1, 2007 it is illegal in Florida to sell any wild type RES. Unusual color varieties such as albino and pastel RES, which are derived from captive breeding, are still allowed for sale.**

**As food**

Squirtle:'chokes in shock and stares in horor' PEOPLE EAT ME AND KIND?!?!?!?!

Ultraman:It's a delicacy in Japan, I think. Here let me take over.

**The flesh of turtles was, and still is, considered a delicacy in a number of cultures. Turtle soup** **has been a prized dish in Anglo-American cuisine, and still remains so in some parts of the Far East.**

Squirtle:'still in shock' How could...I mean....how?

**Turtles remain a part of the traditional diet on the island of Grand Cayman, so much so that when wild stocks became depleted, a turtle farm was established specifically to raise sea turtles** **for their meat. The farm also releases specimens to the wild as part of an effort to repopulate the Carribbean sea.**

Ultraman:That's a big reason why your endangered, people want to eat you!

**Guilinggao** **jelly was a Chinese medicine** **preparation containing powdered shell of a certain turtle species; these days, though, it is typically made with only herbal ingredients.**

Ultraman:And use your shell and guts for drugs.

**Harvesting wild turtles is legal in Florida, and a single seafood company in Fort Lauderdale** **was reported (2008) as buying about 5,000 pounds of softshell turtles** **a week. The harvesters (hunters) are paid about $2 a pound; some manage to catch as many as 30-40 turtles (500 pounds) on a good day. Some of the catch gets to the local restaurants, while most of it is exported to the Far East; Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation ****Commission** **estimates (2008) that around 3,000 pounds of softshell ****turtles are exported each week via Tampa International Airport.**

Charmeleon:Whistles, that's a lot of Squirtles.

Ultraman:And that's the end of it for now.

Squirtle:Good, though why was it so short? Last chapter ago, it was the longest chapter in your entire line of stories!

Ultraman:Guess they're wasn't as much to write on about turtles. Guess this is it for now, unless...

Pikachu:Oh no...

Ultraman:I'll have you all do some Disney songs!

Everyone except Ultraman:NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Ultraman:Good ones. Here's the list.

**Mewtwo:Your only second rate**

**Charizard:Strange Things **

**Squirtle:One jump ahead**

**Pikachu:One last hope**

**Pidgeot:Never had a friend like me**

**Butterfree:I can go the distance**

**Bulbasaur:Can you feel the love tonight**

Mewtwo:I suppose my mines alright.

Charizard:Could have ended up with worse, hey wait a minute I'm a Charizard again! I'M BACK!!! 'flies around breathing fire joyously'

Ultraman:Only until the end of the chapter.

Charizard:Dammit!

Squirtle:One Jump? Well I was once a thief back in the day.

Bulbasaur:Why do I get the love song?

Ultraman:It's with May's Bulbasaur!

Bulbasaur:'bitterly' You mean May's Venusaur...

Ultraman:You could just evolve you know.

Bulbasaur:Not happening!

Ultraman:'rolls eyes' Anyways ready for yours, Mewtwo.

Mewtwo:I don't really mind, even though it is me just picking on some Psychic Pokemon, perhaps Mew?

Ultraman:Who said it would be you singing it?

Mewtwo:Excuse me? Who could possibly, unless!

Ultraman:Yep, I'm talking about the Psychic in generation 3 who took your position as the most powerful Uber of all.

Deoxys in his Attack Form suddenly appears in a blaze of psychic energy.

Deoxys snickers and says,"Hello, Mr. Has Been.

Mewtwo growled and said,"Is that what you think then? 'Fire's a barrage of Shadow Ball's at him, followed by a Bolt Beam combo coming out of both his hands. He then follows up with a Calm Mind Psychic and finishes it up with a Hyper Beam from the mouth. Deoxys is completely covered by a huge explosion from this.

Mewtwo is worn from using Hyper Beam but then recovers and uses Bulk Up to grow large muscles. "Hahahah! Who's the king of ubers now!

Deoxys laughs and the smoke clears to reveal that he withstood the attacks by switching into his defensive form. He uses Recover and then says,"Well, I believe it is...me."

"_I must admit, your parlor tricks are amusing," _sings Deoxys mockingly who flies into the air while easily dodging Mewtwo's Shadow Ball attacks.

"_I bet you've got a Buneary under your hat,"_ taunts Deoxys.

As Mewtwo starts charging up his Shadow Ball, Deoxys says,_"Now here's your chance to get the best of me, hope your hand is HOT!"_ Deoxys then fires a Fire Blast at Mewtwo who uses his Shadow Ball to block it.

"_C'mon clown, let's see what you get!"_ Mewtwo and Deoxys then use Double Edge on each other, with Deoxys managing to overpower Mewtwo.

_"You try to slam me with your hardest stuff," _says Deoxys as Mewtwo uses Psychic on him. _"But your double whammy isn't up to snot."_ Deoxys is strong enough to break free of Psychic and hits Mewtwo with his own Psychic.

_"I'll set the record straight, your simply out of date for this generation, your only second rate."_

Mewtwo growls and then extends his claws and goes for a Slash attack._ "You think your cat's a meanie, but your tiger's tame."_ Deoxys then creates a Psychic wall that Mewtwo goes through and is reverted to his child form.

"You've got a lot to learn about the uber game." Mewtwo reverses his condition and starts using Focus. _"So for your information I reiterate, your only second rate!"_ Deoxys then uses Extreme Speed and slams hard into Mewtwo's chest, stopping the Focus Punch.

Deoxys changes into his normal form and suddenly a Dragonite, Tyranitar, Metagross, Salamance, and Garchomp appear. _"Over-used Pokemon, cower..."_ The Pokemon start shaking in horror. _"At the power..."_ Dragonite faints from fear. _"In my pinky."_

A big screen showing Pokemon tiers appear. Deoxys give a thumbs up and says,_"My_ _thumb is number one, on every list!"_ Mewtwo snarled at that comment, especially after seeing his tier list in Melee.

_"But if your not convinced that I'm invincible, put me to the test!"_ A new tier list that shows Mewtwo at the bottom appears and Deoxys says,"_I'd love to lay this rivalry to rest..."_

Mewtwo fired a full blast Thunder at Deoxys who switched to Defensive Form. _"Go ahead and zap me with the big suprise."_

Mewtwo then traps Deoxys in a Rock Tomb attack covering him. _"Snap me in a trap"_ Mewtwo fired off several slicing Psycho Cut attacks at the large rocks. _"Cut me down to size!"_ Deoxys then switches to Attack form and breaks free with Brick Break. _"I'll make a big escape, it's just a piece of cake, your only second rate! _

_"You know your psycho mumbo jumbo isn't tough enough, and your special attack doesn't measure up, let me pontificate upon your sorry state you're only second rate!"_

Deoxys then switches into his Speed form and flies up fast with Mewtwo going after him firing Shadow Balls that all miss.

_"Zaba-Abra-Kadabra!"_ he taunts. He then glows as his changes his appearance. Deoxys then flies right into wearing Ash's first generation clothes. _"Ashy boy's gonna catch yah!"_

Mewtwo is freaked out and temporarily falls down. _"Alakazam-da-revolution."_ Deoxys then creates a whole bunch of copies of himself that surround Mewtwo.

_"And this thing is bigger than the both of us!!!"_ they all roar. Mewtwo is greatly intimidated but he keeps an angry scowl on his face. _"So spare me your tremendous scare, you look horrendous in your underwear!"_ Mewtwo looked down and with a look of absolute shock, indignanty, and horror saw that he was wearing white boxers with Poke balls on them!

The Dexoys all attack Mewtwo with a barrage of different attacks, some physical and some special. _"And I can hardly wait to discombobulate, I'll send ya back and packing in a Pokeball, you'll make a better living with a OVA, You're only second rate!"_

Mewtwo is overwhelmed by all the attacks and falls down on the ground, defeated. "No," he weakly says. "I am, the world's strongest Pokemon!"

Deoxys laughs at this and says,"Well, it seems that you have been dethroned, your majes-Huh?!" 'A Master Ball is thrown at him. "No! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" 'is caught'

That's enough for this chapter, next time another song and if and of you have suggestions for character songs, let me know!


	4. Noctowl

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon

Ultraman:We're back!

Charmeleon:Go update another fic or something.

Ultraman:When I am good and ready! Anyways, due to a request by a reviewer, the lucky Pokemon for this chapter will be...Noctowl!

Noctowl:Oh dear, why me?

Ultraman:Your a shiny, your special, though you are a bit short.

Noctowl:Well I never!

Ultraman:Oh and for you viewers at home, Noctowl here is a female with a british accent. Slightly stereotypical, but if they gave a Noctowl a human speaking voice, it probably would be a british person, that or someone who sounds wise.

Noctowl:Anyhow, shall we get started?

Ultraman:Sure, go ahead.

Noctowl:'get's on chair, but is unable to use mouse because of wings' Oh bugger!

Ultraman:Fine, I'll do it.

**The Owls are the order Strigiformes, comprising 200 extant birds of prey, species. Most are solitary, and nocturnal, with some exceptions (e.g. the Burrowing Owl). Owls hunt mostly small mammals, insects, and other birds, **

Pidgeot:Holy crap, your a cannibal!

Noctowl:I assure you my good fellow, I am no such thing!

Pidgeot:Right, um sorry. 'blushes slightly'

Ultraman:'smirks slightly and continues'

**though a few species specialize in hunting fish. They are found in all regions of the Earth except Antarctica, most of Greenland, and some remote islands. Though owls are typically solitary, the literary collective noun for a group of owls is a _parliament_.**

**Living owls are divided into two families: the typical owls, Strigidae; and the barn-owls, Tytonidae.**

**Contents**

**1 Description**

**2 Behaviour**

**3 Evolution and systematics**

**3.1 Ogygoptyngidae**

**3.2 Protostrigidae**

**3.3 Sophiornithidae**

**3.4 Strigidae: Typical owls**

**3.5 Tytonidae: Barn-owls**

**4 Relationship with humans**

**4.1 Use as rodent control**

Pikachu:Rodent control!

Ultraman:Birds eat mice, don't be so suprised.

**4.2 Africa**

**4.3 The Americas**

**4.4 Asia**

**4.5 Europe**

**4.6 Owl conservation issues**

**5 Footnotes**

**6 References**

**7 External links**

**Description**

**Owls have large forward-facing eyes and ear-holes, a hawk-like beak, a flat face, and usually a conspicuous circle of feathers—a _facial disc_—around each eye. Although owls have binocular vision, their large eyes are fixed in their sockets, as with other birds, and they must turn their entire head to change views. **

**Most birds of prey sport eyes on the sides of their heads, but the stereoscopic nature of the owl's forward-facing eyes permits a greater sense of depth perception necessary for low-light hunting.**

**Owls are farsighted and are unable to see anything clearly within a few centimetres of their eyes. **

Noctow:Actually, I am quite capable of seeing things close, though it does hurt my eyes a bit.

**Caught prey can be felt by owls with the use of filoplumes, which are small hair-like feathers on the beak and feet that act as "feelers". **

Squirtle:You have a moustache?

Pidgeot:'hits Squirtle with his left wing'

**Their far vision, particularly in low light, is exceptionally good. Contrary to popular myth, an owls cannot turn its head completely backwards. It can turn its head 135 degrees in either direction; **

Noctowl:This is incorrect, I can rotate my head 180 degrees.

**it can thus look behind its own shoulders, with a total 270-degree field of view.**

**The smallest owl is the Elf Owl (_Micrathene whitneyi_), at as little as 31 g (1.1 oz) and 13.5 cm (5.3 inches). Some of the pygmy owls are scarcely larger. The largest owls are two of the eagle owls—the Eurasian Eagle Owl (_Bubo bubo_) and Blakiston's Fish Owl (_Bubo blakistoni_)—which may reach a size of 60 - 71 cm (28.4 in) long, have a wingspan of almost 2 m (6.6 ft), and an average weight of nearly 4.5 kg (10 lb).**

Noctowl:Not so short then eh?

Ultraman:Touche.

**Different species of owls make different sounds; the wide range of calls aids owls in finding mates or announcing their presence to potential competitors, and also aids ornithologists and birders in ****locating these birds and recognizing species. The facial disc helps to funnel the sound of prey to their ears. In many species, these are placed asymmetrically, for better directional location.**

**Owl eggs are usually white and almost spherical, and range in number from a few to a dozen, depending on species. Eggs are laid at intervals of 1 to 3 days and do not hatch at the same time. This accounts for the wide variation in the size of sibling nestlings. Owls do not construct nests, but rather look for a sheltered nesting site or an abandoned nest in trees, underground burrows, or in buildings, barns and caves.**

**Behaviour**

**Most owls are nocturnal, actively hunting for prey only under the cover of darkness. Several types of owl, however, are crepuscular, active during the twilight hours of dawn and dusk; one example is the pygmy owl (_Glaucidium_). A few owls are also active during the day; examples are the Burrowing Owl (_Speotyto cunicularia)_ and the Short-eared Owl (_Asio flammeus_).**

Bulbasaur:Wait a minute that does ask the question, are you nocturnal?

Noctowl:I am, but so when Ash needs my assistance and I'm not asleep on the job, I take power naps.

Mewtwo:Like a cat.

Noctowl:Yes, like a cat.

**The serrations on the leading edge of an owl's flight feathers reduce noise.**

Noctowl:Helps a lot when you want to sneak up on an unwary fellow.

**Much of the owls' hunting strategy depends on stealth and surprise. Owls have at least two adaptations that aid them in achieving stealth. First, the dull coloration of owls' feathers can render them almost invisible under certain conditions.**

Noctowl:Sadly not for me. Though my special coloration is beautiful, it doesn't aid at all in cameoflage. If it wasn't for my Hypnosis, I'd go hungry.

**Secondly, serrated edges on the leading edge owls' remiges muffle an owl's wingbeats, allowing its flight to be practically silent. Some fish-eating owls, for which silence is of no evolutionary advantage, lack this adaptation.**

**Once prey has been captured, an owl's sharp beak and powerful talons allow it to kill its prey before swallowing it whole (unless it is too big). Scientists studying the diets of owls are helped by their habit of regurgitating the indigestible parts of their prey (such as bones, scales and fur) in the form of pellets. **

Butterfree:Ew, that's nasty!

Ultraman:Do you do that?

Noctowl:Not since I have become domesticated, I can assure you.

**These "owl pellets" -- which are plentiful and easy to interpret -- are often sold by companies to schools for dissection by students as a lesson in biology and ecology. **

Noctowl:Charming.

**Evolution and systematics**

**The systematic placement of owls is disputed. For example, the Sibley-Ahlquist taxonomy finds that, based on DNA-DNA hybridization, owls are more closely related to the nightjars and their allies (Caprimulgiformes) than to the diurnal predators in the order Falconiformes; ****consequently, the Caprimulgiformes are placed in the Strigiformes, and the owls in general become a family Strigidae. This is not supported by more recent research.[4] In any case, the relationships of the Caprimulgiformes, the owls, the falcons and the accipitrid raptors are not resolved to satisfaction; currently there is an increasing trend to consider each group (with the possible exception of the accipitrids) a distinct order.**

**There are some 220 to 225 extant species of owls, subdivided into two families: typical owls (Strigidae) and barn-owls (Tytonidae). Some entirely extinct families have also been erected based on fossil remains; these differ much from modern owls in being less specialized or specialized in a very different way (such as the terrestrial Sophiornithidae). The Paleocene genera **_**Berruornis**_** and **_**Ogygoptynx**_** show that owls were already present as a distinct lineage some 60 - 57 mya (million years ago), and presumably also some 5 million years earlier, at the extinction of the non-avian dinosaurs. This makes them one of the oldest known groups of non-Galloanserae landbirds. The supposed "Cretaceous owls" **_**Bradycneme**_** and **_**Heptasteornis**_** are apparently non-avialan maniraptors.[5]**

**During the Paleogene, the Strigiformes radiated into ecological niches now mostly filled by other groups of birds. The owls as we know them today, on the other hand, evolved their characteristic morphology and adaptations during that time, too. By the early Neogene, the other lineages had been displaced by other bird orders, leaving only barn-owls and typical owls. The latter at that time were usually a fairly generic type of (probably earless) owl similar to today's North American Spotted Owl or the European Tawny Owl; the diversity in size and ecology found in typical owls today developed only subsequently.**

**Around the Paleogene-Neogene boundary (some 25 mya), barn-owls were the dominant group of owls in southern Europe and adjacent Asia at least; the distribution of fossil and present-day owl lineages indicates that their decline is contemporary with the evolution of the different major lineages of typical owls, which for the most part seems to have taken place in Eurasia. In the Americas, there was rather an expansion of immigrant lineages of ancestral typical owls.**

**The supposed fossil herons _"Ardea" perplexa_ (Middle Miocene of Sansan, France) and _"Ardea" lignitum_ (Late Pliocene of Germany) were more probably owls; the latter was apparently close to the modern genus _Bubo_. Judging from this, the Late Miocene remains from France described as _"Ardea" aureliensis_ should also be restudied.[6] The Messelasturidae, some of which were initially believed to be basal Strigiformes, are now generally accepted to be diurnal birds of prey showing some convergent evolution towards owls. The taxa often united under _Strigogyps_[7] were formerly placed in part with the owls, specifically the Sophiornithidae; they appear to be Ameghinornithidae instead.**

Noctowl:Quite a wealth of information.

Ultraman:Hey, look at this, owl types!

**_Pulsatrix_: spectacled owls, three species**

Ultraman:'pulls out glasses from hammerspace and puts them on Noctowl.

Noctowl:My word, that's much better now.

_**Pyrroglaux**_**: Palau Owl**

**_Strix_: earless owls, about 15 species**

Squirtle:Earless?! What happened?

**_Xenoglaux_: Long-whiskered Owlet**

Ultraman:Another thing you have in common with cats.

**_Sceloglaux_: Laughing Owl; extinct (1914?)**

Charmeleon:A laughing owl? Is that like a Hyena or something?

Pikachu:When she tricks you, it might be even worse than a hyena.

**Owls have been a feature of falconry for years. In recent years, many owls have moved from their previous rural habitats to start to inhabit urban areas. The Tawny Owl has been a common visitor to cities across the UK for about forty years, where it survives on a diet of pigeons and small birds.**

**In many parts of the world, owls have been associated with death and misfortune, likely due to their nocturnal activity and common screeching call.**

Noctowl:I'm afraid you have me confused with Murkrow.

Pikachu:You did bring Ash a lot of trouble trying to catch you.

**However, owls have also been associated with wisdom and prosperity, frequently being companion animals for goddesses. **

Noctowl:Much more flattering.

**In Hindu Mythology, the barn owl is considered to be the vehicle of Goddess Lakshmi (Goddess of Wealth) and thus it is considered lucky if an owl resides near a house. The Greek goddess Athena was commonly depicted accompanied by an owl, and it has remained a common Western symbol of wisdom. This symbolism is evident in the frequent use of an owl in the logos of institutions such as universities and libraries.**

Ultraman:Fits the bill for you just right. Though your character traits weren't as specifically touched upon since your debut episode.

Noctowl:It was filler saga, Sinnoh has all the character development.

**Henry David Thoreau summarized one perception of owls when he wrote in 1854's _Walden_, "I rejoice that there are owls. Let them do the idiotic and maniacal hooting for men. It is a sound admirably suited to swamps and twilight woods which no day illustrates, suggesting a vast and underdeveloped nature which men have not recognized. They represent the stark twilight and unsatisfied thoughts which all [men] have."**

**Use as rodent control**

**Encouraging natural predators to control rodent population is a natural form of pest control, along with excluding food sources for rodents. Placing a new box for owls on a property can help control rodent populations (one family of hungry barn owls can consume more than 3,000 rodents in a nesting season) while maintaining the naturally balanced food chain.**

Pikachu:That could have been one of my relative's!

Noctowl:I've never even eaten a mouse before!

Ultraman:Then you have hunted something before?

Noctowl:Oh curses, cornered.

**Owls are also known to become victims of secondary poisoning by eating mice or rats that have previously been poisoned with rodenticides.**

Ultraman:Be careful what you eat! You never know where it's been.

Noctowl:Which one of the reason I'm glad I live in human civilization.

**Africa**

**Ancient Egyptians used a representation of an owl for their hieroglyph for the sound **_**m**_**. They would often draw this hieroglyph with its legs broken to keep this bird of prey from coming to life.**

**Among the Kikuyu of Kenya it was believed that owls were harbingers of death. If one saw an owl or heard its hoot, someone was going to die. In general, owls are viewed as harbingers of bad luck, ill health, or death. The belief is widespread even today. [12][edit] **

Noctowl:It's just silly superstitition!

**The Americas**

**The feathers of owls are often used in connection with art and ritual. However, in the United States, as with eagle feathers, the possession of owl feathers as religious objects is regulated by federal law (e.g. The Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918 and Title 50 Part 22 Code of Federal Regulations).**

**In the culture of the Uto-Aztec tribe, the Hopi, taboos surround owls, which are associated with sorcery and other evils. The Aztecs and Maya, along with other Natives of Mesoamerica, considered the owl a symbol of death and destruction. In fact, the Aztec god of death, Mictlantecuhtli, was often depicted with owls. There is an old saying in Mexico that is still in use[13]: _Cuando el tecolote canta, el indio muere_ ("When the owl cries/sings, the Indian dies"). The Popol Vuh, a Mayan religious text, describes owls as messengers of Xibalba (the Mayan "Place of Fright").[14] The belief that owls are messengers and harbingers of the dark powers is also found among the Hočągara (Winnebago) of Wisconsin.[15] When in earlier days the Hočągara committed the sin of killing enemies while they were within the sanctuary of the chief's lodge, an owl appeared and spoke to them in the voice of a human, saying, "From now on the Hočągara will have no luck." This marked the beginning of the decline of their tribe.[16] An owl appeared to Glory of the Morning, the only female chief of the Hocak nation, and uttered her name. Soon afterwards she died.[17] People often allude to the reputation of owls as bearers of supernatural danger when they tell misbehaving children, "the owls will get you."**

Noctowl:I'm so misunderstood.

**The Moche people of ancient Peru worshipped the animal and often depicted owls in their art.**

**Asia**

**In Japanese culture, owls are seen as either negative or positive symbols depending on species. Sometimes owls are seen as divine messengers of the gods, while Barn or Horned owls are perceived as demonic figures.**

**In India, a white owl is considered companion and **_**vāhana**_** (Vehicle of god/goddess) of Lakṣmī, the goddess of wealth, and therefore a harbinger of prosperity.**

**The demoness Lilith is thought to have been associated with (screech) owls as well, by way of the KJV translation of the passage in Isaiah 34:14. Prior to the rise of Islam, owls were considered bad omens and associated with evil spirits in most Middle Eastern pagan traditions. In modern times, although such superstitions are less prevalent, owls are still popularly considered "evil" because of their fierce **

**In Greek mythology, the owl, and specifically the Little Owl, was often associated with the goddess Athena, a bird goddess who became associated with wisdom, the arts, and skills, and as a ****result, owls also became associated with wisdom. They are the unofficial mascot of the high-IQ society Mensa.**

**The Romans, in addition to having borrowed the Greek associations of the owl (see Owl of Minerva), also considered owls to be funerary birds, due to their nocturnal activity and often having their nests in inaccessible places. As a result, seeing an owl in the daytime was considered a bad omen. For example, in Book 12 of Virgil's Aeneid, an owl appears before Turnus toward the end of his battle with Aeneas, prefiguring his death, and "a strange, numbing dread / Washed through Turnus' body; his hair / Bristled with fear; his voice stuck in his throat."[20] The vampiric **_**strix**_** of Roman mythology was in part based on the owl.**

**In France, a difference is made between **_**hiboux**_**, eared owls, which are considered symbols of wisdom, and **_**chouettes**_**, earless owls, which are considered birds of ill omen.**

**In the Welsh Cycles of the Mabinogion, the Owl is considered cursed - the first owl was Blodeuedd, a woman born of flowers to be the wife of Lleu Llaw Gyffes. Because she fell in love with another man and plotted to kill Lleu, Lleu's guardian Gwydion turned her into the first owl, saying **_**"You are never to show your face to the light of day, rather you shall fear other birds; they will be hostile to you, and it will be their nature to maul and molest you wherever they find you. You will not lose your name but always be called Blodeuwedd."**_** The addition of the w in her name changed her from a woman of flowers to an owl.**

**In Finland the owl is paradoxically viewed as both a symbol of wisdom, and as a symbol of imbecility, presumably because of its "dumb stare".Owl conservation issues**

Noctowl:So they either love me, or hate me, just dandy!

**Like most wildlife, owls are increasingly threatened by loss of habitat due to human activity or climate change. In tropical countries with high biodiversity, owls and other forest animals are hunted to supplement the diets or the income of impoverished families. The sale of bushmeat has risen sharply in recent decades. "Silent forest" is a familiar term describing forests that have been completely stripped of wildlife. Logging roads have increased access to previously inaccessible forest depths, and modern automatic weapons have made the shooting of wildlife much more efficient.**

Noctowl:Hunted?! Whatever for?!

Ultraman:For sport, though I would never really do that to an animal. Unless it's big and dangerous, then I'll have to defend myself.

Pikachu:With what?

Ultraman:'takes out a atomic cannon' With Mr. Bang Bang!

Mewtwo:Hey, isn't that Edfan765's special weapon?

Ultraman:Yep, I got it from Tyler for a buck and a magic spell that makes Nazz dislike him for a while.

'In Ed or Dare verse'

Edfan:Alright Zark, time to face the wrath of Mr- 'looks to see that Mr. Bang Bang is gone'

Edfan:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Back in Pokemon Meet Wikipedia verse

Ultraman:Wait a minute, I just remembered something, Charmeleon, you read the rest, I'll be right back! 'goes into a launch tube labeled "Super mega quick access to Ed or Dare verse fic" Hang on Edfan, here I come!

Charmeleon:Looks like there's not much left.

**All owls are listed in Appendix II of the international CITES treaty (the Convention on Illegal Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora). Although owls have long been hunted, a 2008 news story from Malaysia indicates that the magnitude of owl poaching may be on the rise. In November 2008, TRAFFIC reported the seizure of 900 plucked and "oven-ready" owls in Peninsular Malaysia. Said Chris Shepherd, Senior Programme Officer for TRAFFIC's Southeast Asia office, "This is the first time we know of where 'ready-prepared' owls have been seized in Malaysia, and it may mark the start of a new trend in wild meat from the region. We will be monitoring developments closely." Traffic commended the Department of Wildlife and National Parks in Malaysia for the raid that exposed the huge haul of owls. Included in the seizure were dead and plucked Barn Owls, Spotted Wood Owls, Crested Serpent Eagles, Barred Eagles, and Brown Wood Owls, as well as 7,000 live lizards.**

Charmeleon:You dare eat my kind?!

Noctowl:This is about real life owls, there's a difference!

Charmeleon:Hardly.

Ultraman:'Comes back with clothes in tattered'

Pikachu:What happened?

Ultraman:teamed up with Edfan, beat Zark, kicked Kevin around for enjoyment, had a soda, and now I'm back.

Charmeleon:So why did you pick "Strange Things" for me?

Ultraman:To showcase your minor fall from grace in generation 4 with the addition of Stealth Rock and on how your position as Ash's strongest Pokemon was taken by Mewtwo.

Charmeleon:Fine, just turn me into Charizard already.

Ultraman:Very well, let's do this.

Charizard is seen battling and defeating several large and powerful Pokemon including Metagross, Swampert and a Slaking. He wins and then is praised by Ash and his team of Pokemon. _I was on top of the world it was right in my pocket I was living the life things were just the way they should be_  
Then after Ash was missing he comes with Mewtwo by his side. _When from out of the sky like a bomb comes some little punk in a rocket._ Mewtwo and Charizard are in a double battle together with Charizard struggling against his opponents but Mewtwo easily wins the fight. _Now all of a sudden some strange things are happening to me._

_Straaaaaange things are happening to me._ Pictures of Charizard winning battles and being a plain old badass are shown but are starting to be replaced by more impressive pictures of Mewtwo. _Strange things._

Tracey shows Charizard some really good sketches of Mewtwo which the fire lizard rips up in a rage._ I had friends, I had lots of friends_ Mewtwo is seen hanging around and having some fun with Ash's Kanto Pokemon while Charizard sulks away from the group._ Now all my friends are gone And I'm doing the best I can to carry on._

Charizard is sent out to fight out against a Blaziken but then has his health cut by Stealth Rock damage. _I had power (power)_ He is then hit by a Rock Slide by the Blaziken. _I was respected (respect)  
_He tries to get up, but has taken too much damage and faints. _But not any more_  
Ash is seen taking off towards Sinnoh with only Pikachu and Mewtwo by his side leaving the rest of his Pokemon as well as Charizard oaked. _And I've lost the love to the one whom I adored._

A group of giggling Kirlia's are seen gushing over several pictures of Mewtwo to which Charizard leaves in disgust, remembering his own glory days. _Let me tell you about the strange things are happening to me.  
_As night comes Charizard is seen with a troubled face trying to sleep. Try as he might, he just can't measure up to Mewtwo. And maybe for Ash's sake he'd be better off not on his team. _Strange things. Strange things are happening to me... Ain't no doubt about it._

Ow, that was mean of me to do that to Charizard. Why did I do it? Cause he's one of my favorite Pokemon and you tend to put down the one's you like the most. Don't worry pal, you'll be evolving back into your fully evolved form soon.


	5. Pikachu

Disclaimer:I don't own Pokemon.

Ultraman:The chapter most of you have been waiting for has now arrived.

Charmeleon:The final chapter?

Ultraman:No, I'm gonna keep at this until I run out wikipedia pages for the Pokemon. This chapter's about....drum roll please............................PIKACHU!

Pikachu:Shoot! Alright, let's get this over with. 'gets on computer table'

**A mouse (plural mice) is a small mammal belonging to the order of rodents. The best known mouse species is the common house mouse**

Pikachu:No it isn't, it's me!

Ultraman:Pikachu, your ego is showing.

Pikachu:.............WHERE?!

**It is also a popular pet.**

Charmeleon:Could explain your popularity.

**The American white-footed mouse (Peromyscus leucopus) and the deer mouse (Peromyscus maniculatus) also sometimes live in houses. In some places, certain kinds of field mice are also common. This rodent is eaten by large birds such as hawks and eagles. **

Pidgeot:Hawks and eagles! Hawks and eagles! I am neither!

Ultraman:Well, you still don't really look a pidgeon to me, oh wait never mind.

**They are known to invade homes for food and occasionally shelter.**

**Although mice may live up to two and a half years in captivity,**

Butterfree:Only that long?!

Ultraman:'in a solemn voice' In that case let us give our respects to our favorite deceased mouse, who has left this world for another.

Pikachu:Oh please, my kind can live a lot longer than that! We can live all the way up to the 70's if we want to!

Ultraman:Only if your really healthy and well taken care off.

**the average mouse in the wild lives only about four months, primarily owing to heavy predation. **

Pikachu:Doesn't really count, they died of predation, not age.

**Cats, wild dogs, foxes, birds of prey, snakes and even certain kinds of arthropods have been known to prey heavily upon mice. Nevertheless, because of its remarkable adaptability to almost any environment, and its ability to live commensally with humans, the mouse is regarded to be the second most successful mammalian genus living on Earth today, after humans.**

Pikachu:Heard that? Second most successful mammal living on earth!

Ultraman:Then why is it hard to find Pikachu's most of the time in the wild?

Pikachu:Because we can hide ourselves better for the most part than other Pokemon.

**Mice can at times be harmful rodents, damaging and eating crops[1], causing structural damages and spreading diseases through their parasites and feces[2]. In North America, breathing dust that has come in contact with mouse excrements has been linked to hantavirus, which may lead to Hantavirus Pulmonary Syndrome (HPS).**

Squirtle:Wow, for someone who's so popular, you sure are a pest.

Pikachu:Hardy-har-har Mr. Turtle Soup.

Squirtle:That isn't funny!

**Primarily nocturnal animals, mice compensate for their poor eyesight with a keen sense of hearing, and rely especially on their sense of smell to locate food and avoid predators.**

Pikachu:While it's true I have great hearing, I also have good eyesight, not poor. Otherwise how could I be reading this?

**The original motivation for the domestication of cats is thought to have been for their predation of mice and their relatives, the rats**

Pikachu:Oh thanks, Mewtwo.

Mewtwo:I think your taking this predation thing too seriously.

**Contents**

**1 Reproduction**

**2 Laboratory mice**

**3 Species**

**4 As pets**

**5 Nutrition**

**6 As food**

**7 Mice in popular culture**

**8 See also**

**9 Notes**

**10 External links**

**Reproduction**

Ultraman:Great, Pika-mating rituals.

**Breeding onset is at about 50 days of age in both females and males, although females may have their first estrus at 25–40 days. Mice are polyestrous and breed year round; ovulation is spontaneous. The duration of the estrous cycle is 4–5 days and estrus itself lasts about 12 hours, occurring in the evening. Vaginal smears are useful in timed matings to determine the stage of the estrous cycle. Mating is usually nocturnal and may be confirmed by the presence of a copulatory plug in the vagina up to 24 hours post-copulation. The presence of sperm on a vaginal smear is also a reliable indicator of mating.**

Ultraman:Blech, unless you actually like that stuff?

Pikachu:No! Though I did go on this dirty website once...

Ultraman:You wanted to see how your kind did it?

Pikachu:'blushing madly' Y-yes.

Squirtle:Eh, that's nothing. I have a blog filled with nothing but Poke hentai.

Bulbasaur:YOU ACTUALLY SUPPORT THAT CRAP?!?!

Squirtle:Of course, here let me show you all. 'shoves Pikachu off and brings up his blog' Voila!

A picture of a Lopunny and a Gardevoir were brought up along with a Metapod and that's all I'm willing to say to keep the rating as it is.

There were interesting reactions to the picture. Charmeleon suffered a massive nose bleed. Butterfree fell down and went into a seizurific fit, spluttering gibberish. Mewtwo averted his eyes but not without some blood gushing out of his nose. Ultraman gagged and muttered,"Animals..." Pidgeot blushed like a cherry and let out a whooping trill. Bulbasaur covered his eyes with his vines. Squirtle grinned like a maniac. Pikachu drooled at the pic, going,"Hoooooot!"

Ultraman:'brings back the mouse wiki page' Enough of that stupid pokeporn crap, just read Pikachu!

**Female mice housed together tend to go into anestrus and do not cycle. If exposed to a male mouse or the pheromones of a male mouse, most of the females will go into estrus in about 72 hours. This synchronization of the estrous cycle is known as the Whitten effect. The exposure of a recently bred mouse to the pheromones of a strange male mouse may prevent implantation (or pseudopregnancy), a phenomenon known as the Bruce effect.[4]**

**The average gestation period is 20 days. A fertile postpartum estrus occurs 14–24 hours following parturition, and simultaneous lactation and gestation prolongs gestation 3–10 days owing to delayed implantation. The average litter size is 10–12 during optimum production, but is highly strain dependent.**

Squirtle:Ten kids? Maybe it's better if you don't get laid at all.

Pikachu:Oi! I am not going to be like that guy in the "40 year old virgin" I'll lose it eventually!

Ultraman:Tough luck, for the most part Pokemon only have eggs in the wild or in the daycare, and Ash would let you out of his party. Besides, he doesn't have very many female Pokemon and they may not be even in your egg group.

Pikachu:Then what's in my egg group?

Ultraman:'goes on wikipedia' Here's a funny one, you can apparantly do it with Diglet.

Pikachu:You can't even see the bottom of it!

Ultraman:Meowth...

Pikachu:I AIN'T GAY!

Ultraman:Primeape...

Pikachu:It doesn't matter if it was a female, there's no gender differences between them!

Ultraman:Eevee...

Pikachu:I refuse to do it with any of the Eeveelutions! Except maybe Espeon...

**As a general rule, inbred mice tend to have longer gestation periods and smaller litters than outbred and hybrid mice. The young are called pups and weigh 0.5–1.5 g (0.018–0.053 oz) at birth, are hairless, and have closed eyelids and ears. Cannibalism is uncommon,**

Butterfree:HE'S A CANNIBAL!!! NO MAN, WOMAN, CHILD, OR POKEMON IS SAFE!!!

**but females should not be disturbed during parturition and for at least 2 days postpartum. Pups are weaned at 3 weeks of age; weaning weight is 10–12 g (0.35–0.42 oz). If the postpartum estrus is not utilized, the female resumes cycling 2–5 days postweaning.[4]**

**Newborn male mice are distinguished from newborn females by noting the greater anogenital distance and larger genital papilla in the male. This is best accomplished by lifting the tails of littermates and comparing perineums.**

**Laboratory mice**

**Knockout mice**

**Mice are common experimental animals in biology and psychology primarily because they are mammals, and also because they share a high degree of homology with humans. **

Pikachu:That's animal cruelty!

Ultraman:Isn't Pokemon battling animal cruelty as well?

Pikachu:'sighs' Want me to explain the morality of Pokemon? It's true, Pokemon can get hurt really bad sometimes in battle. But don't humans really beat up playing professional sports like football? Or maybe extreme events cliff diving, bull riding, or other such things? Doesn't keep from doing it even after they've been injured. And as long as Pokemon get's healed up from a hard battle and is kept genuinly happy, it doesn't really give much thought about fighting morality. Besides we all have a natural instinct to be strong and win.

Mewtwo:........................You just blew up my mind with that.

**They are the most commonly used mammalian model organism, more common than rats. The mouse genome has been sequenced, and virtually all mouse genes have human homologs. They can also be manipulated in ways that would be considered unethical to do with humans (note Animal Rights). A knockout mouse is a genetically engineered mouse that has had one or more of its genes made inoperable through a gene knockout.**

Pikachu:Would I be able to learn new attacks if I signed up for that?

**There are other reasons for why mice are used in laboratory research. Mice are small, inexpensive, easily maintained, and can reproduce quickly. Several generations of mice can be observed in a relatively short period of time. Mice are generally very docile if raised from birth and given sufficient human contact. However, certain strains have been known to be quite temperamental. Mice and rats have the same organs in the same places, just different **

**Main article: Fancy mouse**

**Many people buy mice as companion pets. They can be playful, loving and can grow used to being handled.**

Ultraman:Which is one of the reasons Ash has bonded so well with you.

**Pet mice should not be left unsupervised outside as they have many natural predators, including (but not limited to) birds, cats and dogs. **

Charmeleon:So that's why Ash never let's you out of his party. You'd be eaten in less than a day.

Pikachu:Your just jealous!

**Male mice tend to have a stronger odor than the females. **

Squirtle:Got that right.

Pikachu:Take that back!

Ultraman:It's true, when was the last time you took a bath?

**Well looked after mice can make ideal pets. Some common mouse care products are:**

**Cage — Usually a hamster or gerbil cage, but special mouse cages are now available.**

Ultraman:Which translates into a Pokeball. Come to think of it, are you claustrophic?

Pikachu:Yes, but only when I'm inside that thing. I can manage being enclosed in pretty much anything else.

**Food — Special pelleted and seed-based food is available. Mice can generally eat most rodent food (for rats, mice, hamsters, gerbils, etc)**

Pikachu:I also like ketchup! 'grins widely'

**Bedding — Usually made of hardwood pulp, such as aspen, sometimes from shredded, uninked paper or recycled virgin wood pulp. Using corn husk bedding is avoided because it promotes Aspergillis fungus, and can grow mold once it gets wet, which is rough on their feet. Mice should not be exposed to pine or other scented tree chips as many studies show these to have adverse effects on lung function in mice.[citation needed]**

Pikachu:Which is why I sleep in a bed or sleeping bag with Ash.

**Pet mice**

**Some benefits of having mice as pets are**

**Minimal shedding and allergens**

**Entertaining and interactive**

**Inexpensive**

**Clean (contrary to popular belief)**

Pikachu:Told you I'm clean!

**Socially self-sufficient when in a group of other mice**

Ultraman:Apparantly, different Pokemon count as a group of mice.

**Less likely to bite than other rodent pets**

Charmeleon:That's what some people say.

Pikachu:Then you shouldn't have had grabbed my tail!

**Relatively intelligent**

**Bond well to their owners**

**Are playful and attentive**

Pikachu:You know, my page seems a lot more accurate than the other pages.

**Disadvantages include:**

**Short lifespan**

Pikachu:And now it's unaccurate.

**Small and fragile (not as easy to handle as a dog or a cat)**

Pikachu:I resent that remark! I just don't like being crowded or handled by strangers!

Ultraman:I wouldn't talk, cannon.

**Defecate and urinate frequently**

Squirtle:'start's cracking up' Y-you yo-u HAHAHAHAHAH!

Soon Squirtle is joined by the rest of the Pokemon, even Mewtwo after a while. Ticked off, Pikachu launched a Thunder attack at them, knocking out Butterfree, Pidgeot, and Squirtle.

**Nocturnal**

**Frequent eye infections when under stress**

**Easily subject to disease when without optimal care**

**Frequent reproduction**

Squirtle:Maybe you just lost your wild side.

**Nutrition**

**In nature, mice are herbivores, consuming any kind of fruit or grain from plants.[5] Due to this, mice adapt well to urban areas and are known for eating most all types of food scraps, especially cheese. **

Pikachu:I'll take ketchup over cheese anyday.

**In captivity, mice are commonly fed commercial pelleted mouse diet. These diets are nutritionally complete, but they still need a large variety of vegetables. Food intake is approximately 15 g (0.53 oz) per 100 g (3.5 oz) of body weight per day; water intake is approximately 15 ml (0.53 imp fl oz; 0.51 US fl oz) per 100 g of body weight per day.[4]**

**As food**

Pikachu:................................................................................What?

**Mice are a staple in the diet of many small carnivores. **

Pikachu:They're what?!

Charmeleon:I'm not surprised, you are kind of small.

**Humans have eaten mice since prehistoric times**

Pikachu:ASH'S ANCESTOR'S HAVE EATEN MY ANCESTOR'S!?!?!

**and are still eaten as a delicacy throughout eastern Zambia and northern Malawi.**

**In the U.S. mice are used as pet food for pets such as snakes, **

Pidgeot:Better watch out the next time Jessie sends out Arbok.

**Lizards**_,_

Pikachu:'start's backing away from Charmeleon who merely smirks'

**frogs**_,_

Bulbasaur:I'm more of a dinosaur/plant if you think about it.

**tarantulas and birds of prey. **

**Most US pet stores now carry mice for this purpose. Some other countries, such as Germany and the United Kingdom, have restricted this practice, citing ethical concerns regarding both predator and prey.**

"Oh thank Arceus," said Pikachu.

**Common terms used to refer to different age/size mice when sold for petfood are "pinkies", "fuzzies", "crawlers", "hoppers", and "adults"[9]. Pinkies are newborn mice that have not yet grown fur; fuzzies have some fur but are not very mobile; hoppers have a full coat of hair and are fully mobile but are smaller than adult mice. Mice without fur are easier for the animal to consume, however mice with fur may be more convincing as animal feed. These terms are also used to refer to the various growth stages of rats (see Fancy rat).**

Pikachu:....................They sell baby hairless Pichu's and feed them to other animals.

**Mice in popular culture**

**The mice stereotype in popular culture is that of a small, sneaky, creature that hides in the walls of one's home and steals swiss (and or Gorgonzola) cheese from the pantries of its occupants. Mice also appear in many of the Redwall books as heroes.**

Ultraman:And that's the end of it.

Pikachu:It was so short!

Mewtwo:Be grateful. The longer one's were more embarassing.

Squirtle:Well, here comes my song!

Ultraman:Actually, I couldn't write it right, so I'll settle for turning you into Squirtle soup.

Squirtle:Oh oka-SAY WHAT?!?!

Ultraman:'takes out a shot gun and shoots Squirtle in the head'

Bulbasaur:Oh my Arceus! You killed Squirtle!

Charmeleon:You bastard!

Squirtle:'somehow gets up' Uggh...can't belive I survived that.

Ultraman:Darn it, the rules of the anime prevent Pokemon from dying in violent deaths! Oh well, I'll just send you to a gay Pokeporn site.

Squirtle:OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	6. Bulbasaur

Disclaimer:I don't own Pokemon.

Ultraman:Sorry I'm late! I got lost on the road of life!

Charmeleon:Please, you were busy with that other Poke fic and with school.

Ultraman:Whatever, anyways this time Bulbasaur's our lucky Pokemon!

Bulbasaur:Oh well, at least I can't help but be curious about it.

Ultraman:True, I was trying to figure out whether it would be dinosaur, plant, or toad, but I settled on frog. Anyways, I'll read.

**Frogs are amphibians **

Bulbasaur:I'm a Grass/Poison type, and I can't swim very well!

**in the order Anura (meaning "tail-less", from Greek _an-,_ without + _oura_, tail), formerly referred to as _Salientia_ (Latin _salere_ (_salio_), "to jump"). Most frogs are characterized by long hind legs, a short body, webbed digits (fingers or toes), protruding eyes and the absence of a tail. Frogs are widely known as exceptional jumpers,**

Bulbasaur:Only when I use my vines to jump.

**and many of the anatomical characteristics of frogs, particularly their long, powerful legs, are adaptations to improve jumping performance. Due to their permeable skin, frogs are often semi-aquatic or inhabit humid areas, **

Bulbasaur:I'd prefer forest areas or anyplace with good amount of sunlight.

**but move easily on land. They typically lay their eggs in puddles, ponds or lakes, and their larvae, called tadpoles, have gills and develop in water. **

Bulbasaur:No we don't! We....uh well...

Ultraman:Your a virgin aren't you?

Bulbasaur:'downcast' Yes...

Pikachu:Welcome to the club, pal.

**Adult frogs follow a carnivorous diet,**

Bulbasaur:That's completely wrong! I'm part plant, how could I eat meat?

Ultraman:There are carnivorous plants, you know like Venus Fly Trap.

**mostly of arthropods, annelids and gastropods. Frogs are most noticeable by their call, which can be widely heard during the night or day, mainly in their mating season.**

Pikachu:

**The distribution of frogs ranges from tropic to subarctic regions, but most species are found in tropical rainforests. **

**Consisting of more than 5,000 species described, they are among the most diverse groups of vertebrates. However, populations of certain frog species are declining significantly.**

Bulbasaur:Why do I get the feeling that human consumption is the reason for that?

**A distinction is often made between frogs and toads on the basis of their appearance, caused by the convergent adaptation among so-called toads to dry environments; however, this distinction has no taxonomic basis. The only family exclusively given the common name "toad" is Bufonidae, but many species from other families are also called "toads," and the species within the toad genus _Atelopus_ are referred to as "harlequin frogs".**

**11.1 Media****Taxonomy**

**The order _Anura_ contains 4,810 species in 33 families, of which the Leptodactylidae (1100 spp.), Hylidae (800 spp.) and Ranidae (750 spp.) are the richest in species. About 88% of amphibian species are frogs.**

Pidgeot:Wow, large percentage.

**The use of the common names "frog" and "toad" has no taxonomic justification. From a taxonomic perspective, all members of the order Anura are frogs, but only members of the family Bufonidae are considered "true toads". The use of the term "frog" in common names usually refers to species that are aquatic or semi-aquatic with smooth and/or moist skins, and the term "toad" generally refers to species that tend to be terrestrial with dry, warty skin. An exception is the fire-bellied toad (_Bombina bombina_): while its skin is slightly warty, it prefers a watery habitat.**

Ultraman:So your more of a toad in that sense than a frog.

**Frogs and toads are broadly classified into three suborders: Archaeobatrachia, which includes four families of primitive frogs; Mesobatrachia, which includes five families of more evolutionary intermediate frogs; and Neobatrachia, by far the largest group, which contains the remaining 24 families of "modern" frogs, including most common species throughout the world. Neobatrachia is further divided into the Hyloidea and Ranoidea.[3] This classification is based on such morphological features as the number of vertebrae, the structure of the pectoral girdle, and the morphology of tadpoles. While this classification is largely accepted, relationships among families of frogs are still debated. Future studies of molecular genetics should soon provide further insights to the evolutionary relationships among Anuran families.[4]**

**Some species of anurans hybridise readily. For instance, the Edible Frog (_Rana esculenta_)**

Bulbasaur:EDIBLE?!

Squirtle:Who's laughing now?

**is a hybrid of the Pool Frog (_R. lessonae_) and the Marsh Frog (_R. ridibunda_). _Bombina bombina_ and _Bombina variegata_ similarly form hybrids, although these are less fertile, giving rise to a hybrid zone.**

**Morphology and physiology**

**The morphology of frogs is unique among amphibians. Compared with the other two groups of amphibians, (salamanders and caecilians), frogs are unusual because they lack tails as adults and their legs are more suited to jumping than walking. **

Bulbasaur:Not even likely. If I evolved into a Venusaur, I'd become slow moving and a whole lot less agile. It's kinda like with Ash's Turtwig evolving into Grotle. The difference between us though I can't tank nearly as well as he can.

Ultraman:That's your excuse? I just thought the writer's just didn't want you to evolve so Ash could get another strong Pokemon early in the series.

Pikachu:Huh? What do you mean?

Ultraman:Well, here's what I think about Ash just "giving up" his best Pokemon. It's just a convenient excuse to keep Ash's traveling team in the anime from getting too strong. Why did you think out of Ash's original six, Butterfree, Pidgeot, and Charizard all left because they were fully evolved? Butterfree was released the episode before he fought against Sabrina. Though in that generation he didn't have any Bug type moves it could have been a perfect opportunity for him to learn Psychic attacks like Confusion and Psybeam. Then he could really carry his weight in battle due to Psychic attacks being so dominant at the time. As for Charmeleon/Charizard I can think of another plotline for him in the Kanto saga than just being disobedient and lazy. He could have still listened to Ash but some of his fellow Pokemon teammates could have started to resent him for being used in so many of Ash's battles then. I can already think of another episode like the "Island of Giant Pokemon" where he eventually gets their trust and friendship with him again. As for Pidgeot, if he was allowed to stay, especially after second season was over, Ash could just use him to fly to places quickly and it could eat up a lot of episodes, oh wait that be a good thing since Johto was soo long. Am I saying too much?

Butterfree:..............You really thought this out, didn't you?

**The physiology of frogs is generally like that of other amphibians (and differs from other terrestrial vertebrates) because oxygen can pass through their highly permeable skin. **

Bulbasaur:I have to breathe through my mouth or nose!

**This unique feature allows frogs to "breathe" largely through their skin.[_citation needed_] Because the oxygen is dissolved in an aqueous film on the skin and passes from there to the blood, the skin must remain moist at all times; this makes frogs susceptible to many toxins in the environment, some of which can similarly dissolve in the layer of water and be passed into their bloodstream. This may be the cause of the decline in frog populations.[_citation needed_]**

**Many characteristics are not shared by all of the approximately 5,250 described frog species. However, some general characteristics distinguish them from other amphibians. Frogs are usually well suited to jumping, with long hind legs and elongated ankle bones. They have a short vertebral column, with no more than ten free vertebrae, followed by a fused tailbone (urostyle or coccyx), typically resulting in a tailless phenotype.[_citation needed_]**

**Frogs range in size from 10 mm (0.39 in) (_Brachycephalus didactylus_ of Brazil and _Eleutherodactylus iberia_ of Cuba) to 300 mm (12 in) (goliath frog, _Conraua goliath_, of Cameroon). The skin hangs loosely on the body because of the lack of loose connective tissue. Skin texture varies: it can be smooth, warty or folded. Frogs have three eyelid membranes: one is transparent to protect the eyes underwater, and two vary from translucent to opaque. **

Charmeleon:Well that's...interesting.

**Frogs have a tympanum on each side of the head, which is involved in hearing and, in some species, is covered by skin. Most frogs do in fact have teeth of a sort. They have a ridge of very small cone teeth around the upper edge of the jaw. These are called _maxillary teeth_. Frogs often also have what are called _vomerine teeth_ on the roof of their mouth. They do not have anything that could be called teeth on their lower jaw, so they usually swallow their food whole. The so-called "teeth" are mainly used to hold the prey and keep it in place till they can get a good grip on it and squash their eyeballs down to swallow their meal. **

Squirtle:Yuck, your a sick man, Bulbasaur!

Bulbasaur:I don't eat meat!

**Toads, however, do not have any teeth.[_citation needed_]**

**Feet and legs**

**The structure of the feet and legs varies greatly among frog species, depending in part on whether they live primarily on the ground, in water, in trees, or in burrows. Frogs must be able to move quickly through their environment to catch prey and escape predators, and numerous adaptations help them do so.**

**Many frogs, especially those that live in water, have webbed toes. The degree to which the toes are webbed is directly proportional to the amount of time the species lives in the water. For example, the completely aquatic African dwarf frog (_Hymenochirus sp._) has fully webbed toes, whereas the toes of White's tree frog (_Litoria caerulea_), an arboreal species, are only a half or a quarter webbed.**

**Arboreal frogs have "toe pads" to help grip vertical surfaces. **

Bulbasaur:I can't climb trees.

**These pads, located on the ends of the toes, do not work by suction. Rather, the surface of the pad consists of interlocking cells, with a small gap between adjacent cells. When the frog applies pressure to the toe pads, the interlocking cells grip irregularities on the substrate. The small gaps between the cells drain away all but a thin layer of moisture on the pad, and maintain a grip through capillarity. This allows the frog to grip smooth surfaces, and does not function when the pads are excessively wet.[5]**

**In many arboreal frogs, a small "intercalary structure" in each toe increases the surface area touching the substrate. Furthermore, since hopping through trees can be dangerous, many arboreal frogs have hip joints that allow both hopping and walking. Some frogs that live high in trees even possess an elaborate degree of webbing between their toes, as do aquatic frogs. In these arboreal frogs, the webs allow the frogs to "parachute" or control their glide from one position in the canopy to another.[6]**

Charmeleon:A Flying Bulbasaur. That could replace the standard when pigs will fly.

Bulbasaur:It said glide, not fly.

**Ground-dwelling frogs generally lack the adaptations of aquatic and arboreal frogs. Most have smaller toe pads, if any, and little webbing. Some burrowing frogs have a toe extension—a metatarsal tubercle—that helps them to burrow. The hind legs of ground dwellers are more muscular than those of aqueous and tree-dwelling frogs.**

**Sometimes during the tadpole stage, one of the animal's rear leg stubs is eaten by a dragonfly nymph.**

Ultraman:A Vibrava, perhaps?

**In some of these cases, the full leg grows anyway, and in other cases, it does not, although the frog may still live out its normal lifespan with only three legs. **

Bulbasaur:But it would be pretty awkward moving anyways. Besides, how would I be able to dance?

Ultraman:You dance?

Bulbasaur:Whenever Ash's oaked Pokemon decide to throw a party.

**Other times, a parasitic flatworm called _Riberoria trematodes_ digs into the rear of a tadpole, where it rearranges the limb bud cells, which sometimes causes the frog to have extra legs.**

Squirtle:Good god man, I can imagine you with extra legs like something out of Frankenstein!

**Jumping**

**Frogs are generally recognized as exceptional jumpers, and the best jumper of all vertebrates. **

Bulbasaur:Again, only when using Vine Whips! Though now that memory recalls, I have made some pretty good jumps over the years dodging enemy Pokemon attacks.

**Skin**

**Many frogs are able to absorb water and oxygen directly through the skin, especially around the pelvic area.**

Ultraman:Not one crotch joke!

**However, the permeability of a frog's skin can also result in water loss. Some tree frogs reduce water loss with a waterproof layer of skin. Others have adapted behaviours to conserve water, including engaging in nocturnal activity and resting in a water-conserving position. This position involves the frog lying with its toes and fingers tucked under its body and chin, respectively, with no gap between the body and substrate. Some frog species will also rest in large groups, touching the skin of the neighbouring frog. This reduces the amount of skin exposed to the air or a dry surface, and thus reduces water loss. These adaptations only reduce water loss enough for a predominantly arboreal existence, and are not suitable for arid conditions.**

**Camouflage is a common defensive mechanism in frogs. Most camouflaged frogs are nocturnal, which adds to their ability to hide. Nocturnal frogs usually find the ideal camouflaged position during the day to sleep. Some frogs have the ability to change colour, but this is usually restricted to shades of one or two colours. For example, White's tree frog varies in shades of green and brown. Features such as warts and skin folds are usually found on ground-dwelling frogs, where a smooth skin would not disguise them effectively. Arboreal frogs usually have smooth skin, enabling them to disguise themselves as leaves.[_citation needed_]**

**Certain frogs change colour between night and day, as light and moisture stimulate the pigment cells and cause them to expand or contract.**

**Poison**

Butterfree:Wait a minute, you can use Poison attacks!

Bulbasaur:Well, I'm capable of it, but currently I don't know any.

**Many frogs contain mild toxins that make them unpalatable to potential predators. For example, all toads have large poison glands—the parotoid glands—located behind the eyes on the top of the head. Some frogs, such as some poison dart frogs, are especially toxic. The chemical makeup of toxins in frogs varies from irritants to hallucinogens,**

Squirtle:Hey, we can use your poison as a way to get ourselves high! I won't have to go underground to buy it!

Bulbasaur:'glares' Not happening!

Charmeleon:I agree with you Bulbasaur, the last time he passed out his drugs, well I didn't like the end results.

Mewtwo:I said, I'm sorry!

**convulsants, nerve poisons, and vasoconstrictors. Many predators of frogs have adapted to tolerate high levels of these poisons. Others, including humans, may be severely affected.**

Pidgeot:In that case, Ash should refrain from touching you at all times.

**Some frogs obtain poisons from the ants and other arthropods they eat;[8] others, such as the Australian Corroboree Frogs (_Pseudophryne corroboree_ and _Pseudophryne pengilleyi_), can manufacture an alkaloid not derived from their diet.[9] Some native people of South America extract poison from the poison dart frogs and apply it to their darts for hunting,[10] although few species are toxic enough to be used for this purpose. It was previously a misconception the poison was placed on arrows rather than darts. The common name of these frogs was thus changed from "poison arrow frog" to "poison dart frog" in the early 1980s. Poisonous frogs tend to advertise their toxicity with bright colours, an adaptive strategy known as aposematism. There are at least two non-poisonous species of frogs in tropical America (_Eleutherodactylus gaigei_ and _Lithodytes lineatus_) that mimic the colouration of dart poison frogs' coloration for self-protection (Batesian mimicry).[11][12]**

**Because frog toxins are extraordinarily diverse, they have raised the interest of biochemists as a "natural pharmacy". The alkaloid epibatidine, a painkiller 200 times more potent than morphine, is found in some species of poison dart frogs. Other chemicals isolated from the skin of frogs may offer resistance to HIV infection.[13] Arrow and dart poisons are under active investigation for their potential as therapeutic drugs.[14]**

Bulbasaur:See? My so called poison can be used for good purposes.

Squirtle:Getting high is a good purpose.

**The skin secretions of some toads, such as the Colorado River toad and cane toad, contain bufotoxins, some of which, such as bufotenin, are psychoactive, and have therefore been used as recreational drugs. **

Squirtle:Ha! See! We can use your poison for getting high!

**Typically, the skin secretions are dried and smoked. Skin licking is especially dangerous, and appears to constitute an urban myth. See psychoactive toad.**

Squirtle:Good, I like to smoke it anyways.

**Respiration and circulation**

**The skin of a frog is permeable to oxygen and carbon dioxide, as well as to water. There are a number of blood vessels near the surface of the skin. When a frog is underwater, oxygen is transmitted through the skin directly into the bloodstream. On land, adult frogs use their lungs to breathe. Their lungs are similar to those of humans, but the chest muscles are not involved in respiration, and there are no ribs or diaphragm to support breathing. Frogs breathe by taking air in through the nostrils (which often have valves which close when the frog is submerged), causing the throat to puff out, then compressing the floor of the mouth, which forces the air into the lungs. In August 2007 an aquatic frog named _Barbourula kalimantanensis_ was discovered in a remote part of Indonesia. The Bornean Flat-headed Frog (_B. kalimantanensis_) is the first species of frog known to science without lungs.**

**Frogs are known for their three-chambered heart, which they share with all tetrapods except birds, crocodilians and mammals. In the three-chambered heart, oxygenated blood from the lungs and de-oxygenated blood from the respiring tissues enter by separate atria, and are directed via a spiral valve to the appropriate vessel—aorta for oxygenated blood and pulmonary artery for deoxygenated blood. This special structure is essential to keeping the mixing of the two types of blood to a minimum, which enables frogs to have higher metabolic rates, and to be more active than otherwise.**

**Some species of frog have remarkable adaptations that allow them to survive in oxygen deficient water. The lake titicaca frog (_Telmatobius culeus_) is one such species and to survive in the poorly oxygenated waters of Lake Titicaca it has incredibly wrinkly skin that increases its surface area to enhance gas exchange. This frog will also do 'push-ups' on the lake bed to increase the flow of water around its body.[15]**

Squirtle:Boring.

**Digestion and excretion**

Ultraman:Let's skip this one. 'Pokemon agree with him'

**Nervous system**

**The frog has a highly developed nervous system which consists of a brain, spinal cord and nerves. Many parts of the frog's brain correspond with those of humans. The medulla oblongata regulates respiration, digestion, and other automatic functions. Muscular coordination and posture are controlled by the cerebellum. The relative size of the cerebrum of a frog is much smaller than that of a human. Frogs have ten cranial nerves (nerves which pass information from the outside directly to the brain) and ten pairs of spinal nerves (nerves which pass information from extremities to the brain through the spinal cord). By contrast, all amniotes (mammals, birds and reptiles) have twelve cranial nerves. Frogs do not have external ears; the eardrums (tympanic membranes) are directly exposed. As in all animals, the ear contains semicircular canals which help control balance and orientation.**

Squirtle:Lame.

Ultraman:Think of something more constructive, will yah?

**Natural history**

**The life cycle of frogs, like that of other amphibians, consists of four main stages: egg, tadpole, metamorphosis and adult. **

Bulbasaur:No, it goes from hatching from a egg, evolving to a Ivysaur, then a Venusaur.

Ultraman:Wouldn't that make you a little kid in that way?

Bulbasaur:Uhh...well...oh just keep reading!

**The reliance of frogs on an aquatic environment for the egg and tadpole stages gives rise to a variety of breeding behaviours that include the well-known mating calls used by the males of most species to attract females to the bodies of water that they have chosen for breeding. Some frogs also look after their eggs—and in some cases even the tadpoles—for some time after laying.**

**Life cycle**

**The life cycle of a frog starts with an egg. A female generally lays gelatinous egg masses containing thousands of eggs, in water. **

Squirtle:HOLY SHIT! That must have been _some_ love making!

**Each anuran species lays eggs in a distinctive, identifiable manner. An example are the long strings of eggs laid by the common American toad. The eggs are highly vulnerable to predation, so frogs have evolved many techniques to ensure the survival of the next generation. In colder areas the embryo is black to absorb more heat from the sun, which speeds up the development. Most commonly, this involves synchronous reproduction. Many individuals will breed at the same time, overwhelming the actions of predators; the majority of the offspring will still die due to predation, but there is a greater chance some will survive. Another way in which some species avoid the predators and pathogens eggs are exposed to in ponds is to lay eggs on leaves above the pond, with a gelatinous coating designed to retain moisture. In these species the tadpoles drop into the water upon hatching. The eggs of some species laid out of water can detect vibrations of nearby predatory wasps or snakes, and will hatch early to avoid being eaten.[16] Some species, such as the Cane Toad (_Bufo marinus_), lay poisonous eggs to minimise predation. While the length of the egg stage depends on the species and environmental conditions, aquatic eggs generally hatch within one week. Other species goes through their whole larval phase inside the eggs or the mother, or they have direct development. Unlike salamanders and newts, frogs and toads never become sexually mature while still in their larval stage.**

**Eggs hatch and continue life as tadpoles (occasionally known as polliwogs), **

Pikachu:Hey, that's a Poliwag!

Ultraman:Perhaps you two are related.

**which typically have oval bodies and long, vertically flattened tails. At least one species (Nannophrys ceylonensis) has tadpoles that are semi-terrestrial and lives among wet rocks,[17][18] but as a general rule, free living larvae are fully aquatic. They lack lungs, eyelids, front and hind legs, and have a cartilaginous skeleton, a lateral line system, gills for respiration (external gills at first, internal gills later) and tails with dorsal and ventral folds of skin for swimming.[19] Some species which go through the metamorphosis inside the egg and hatch to small frogs never develop gills, instead there are specialised areas of skin that takes care of the respiration. Tadpoles also lack true teeth, but the jaws in most species usually have two elongate, parallel rows of small keratinized structures called keradonts in the upper jaw while the lower jaw has three rows of keradonts, surrounded by a horny beak, but the number of rows can be lower or absent, or much higher.[1] Tadpoles are typically herbivorous, feeding mostly on algae, including diatoms filtered from the water through the gills. Some species are carnivorous at the tadpole stage, eating insects, smaller tadpoles, and fish. Cannibalism has been observed among tadpoles. Early developers who gain legs may be eaten by the others, so the late bloomers survive longer. This has been observed in England in the species _Rana temporaria_ (common frog).[20]**

**Tadpoles are highly vulnerable to predation by fish, newts, predatory diving beetles and birds such as kingfishers. Poisonous tadpoles are present in many species, such as Cane Toads. The tadpole stage may be as short as a week, or tadpoles may overwinter and metamorphose the following year in some species, such as the midwife toad (_Alytes obstetricans_) and the common spadefoot (_Pelobates fuscus_). In the Pipidae, with the exception for Hymenochirus, the tadpoles have paired anterior barbels which make them resemble small catfish.[21]**

**With the exception of the base of the tail, where a few vertebral structures develop to give rise to the urostyle later in life, the tail lacks the completely solid, segmental, skeletal elements of cartilage or bony tissue that are so typical for other vertebrates, although it does contain a notochord**

**At the end of the tadpole stage, frogs undergo metamorphosis, in which they transition into adult form. Metamorphosis involves a dramatic transformation of morphology and physiology, as tadpoles develop hind legs, then front legs, lose their gills and develop lungs. Their intestines shorten as they shift from an herbivorous to a carnivorous diet. Eyes migrate rostrally and dorsally, allowing for binocular vision exhibited by the adult frog. This shift in eye position mirrors the shift from prey to predator, as the tadpole develops and depends less upon a larger and wider field of vision and more upon depth perception. The final stage of development from froglet to adult frog involves apoptosis (programmed cell death) and resorption of the tail.**

Ultraman:Nice biology lesson.

**After metamorphosis, young adults may leave the water and disperse into terrestrial habitats, or continue to live in the aquatic habitat as adults. Almost all species of frogs are carnivorous as adults, eating invertebrates such as arthropods, annelids and gastropods. A few of the larger species may eat prey such as small mammals, fish and smaller frogs. Some frogs use their sticky tongues to catch fast-moving prey, while others capture their prey and force it into their mouths with their hands. However, there are a very few species of frogs that primarily eat plants.[22] Adult frogs are themselves preyed upon by birds,**

Pidgeot:I'm not going to eat you!

Bulbasaur:I didn't think you would.

Pidgeot:Really? Thanks.

**large fish, snakes, otters, foxes, badgers, coatis, and other animals. Frogs are also eaten by people**

Bulbasaur:Ah! I knew it!

**(see section on uses in agriculture and research, below).**

**Frogs and toads can live for many years; though little is known about their life span in the wild, captive frogs and toads are recorded living up to 40 years.**

Bulbasaur:I think Venusaur's can live a lot longer than that.

**Reproduction of frogs**

**Once adult frogs reach maturity, they will assemble at a water source such as a pond or stream to breed. Many frogs return to the bodies of water where they were born, often resulting in annual migrations involving thousands of frogs. In continental Europe, a large proportion of migrating frogs used to die on roads, before special fences and tunnels were built for them.**

**Once at the breeding ground, male frogs call to attract a mate, collectively becoming a chorus of frogs.**

Squirtle:Okay, so if you start singing loudly, we'll know your trying to seduce May's Bulbasaur.

Bulbasaur:I told you, she's fully evolved, there's nothing between us anymore!

Ultraman:Unless your into chunky women.

**The call is unique to the species, and will attract females of that species. Some species have satellite males who do not call, but intercept females that are approaching a calling male.**

**The male and female frogs then undergo amplexus. This involves the male mounting the female and gripping her (sometimes with special nuptial pads) tightly. Fertilization is external: the egg and sperm meet outside of the body. The female releases her eggs, which the male frog covers with a sperm solution. The eggs then swell and develop a protective coating. The eggs are typically brown or black, with a clear, gelatin-like covering.**

**Most temperate species of frogs reproduce between late autumn and early spring. In the UK, most common frog populations produce frogspawn in February, although there is wide variation in timing. Water temperatures at this time of year are relatively low, typically between four and 10 degrees Celsius. Reproducing in these conditions helps the developing tadpoles because dissolved oxygen concentrations in the water are highest at cold temperatures. More importantly, reproducing early in the season ensures that appropriate food is available to the developing frogs at the right time.**

**Parental care**

**Although care of offspring is poorly understood in frogs, it is estimated that up to 20% of amphibian species may care for their young in one way or another, and there is a great diversity of parental behaviours.**

Ultraman:You'd probably would make a responsible parent if you had the chance. Come to think of it, if Ash ever decided to stop traveling and settle down, do you think you would follow him in that regard?

Pikachu:I don't know, except for Dawn's Buneary in Diamond and Pearl, I haven't really _met_ anybody.

Charmeleon:Well, there was that thing between me and Charla, maybe we could be mates.

Bulbasaur:I don't know, I'm still young and you never know what life has in store for you.

Squirtle:Uh-uh, I ain't getting saddled down by some brats!

Ultraman:Then what do you intend to do about your womanizing?

Squirtle:I just use protection or just go for girls who aren't in my egg group.

Ultraman:That last part was actually pretty wise.

Buterfree:........................................

Ultraman:Oh yeah, he's still traumatized by what happened.

Pidgeot:

**Some species of poison dart frog lay eggs on the forest floor and protect them, guarding the eggs from predation and keeping them moist. The frog will urinate on them if they become too dry. **

Ultraman:Okay, that's just gross.

**After hatching, a parent (the sex depends upon the species) will move them, on its back, to a water-holding bromeliad. The parent then feeds them by laying unfertilized eggs in the bromeliad until the young have metamorphosed. Other frogs carry the eggs and tadpoles on their hind legs or back (e.g. the midwife toads, _Alytes spp._). Some frogs even protect their offspring inside their own bodies.**

Bulbasaur:.....Do I even want to know?

**The male Australian Pouched Frog (_Assa darlingtoni_) has pouches along its side in which the tadpoles reside until metamorphosis. The female Gastric-brooding Frogs (genus _Rheobatrachus_) from Australia, now probably extinct, swallows its tadpoles, which then develop in the stomach. **

Charmeleon:That's going to be very weird when they come out.

**To do this, the Gastric-brooding Frog must stop secreting stomach acid and suppress peristalsis (contractions of the stomach). Darwin's Frog (_Rhinoderma darwinii_) from Chile puts the tadpoles in its vocal sac for development. Some species of frog will leave a 'babysitter' to watch over the frogspawn until it hatches.**

**Frogs are raised commercially for several purposes. Frogs are used as a food source; frog legs are a delicacy in China, France, the Philippines, the north of Greece and in many parts of the American South, especially Louisiana.**

Bulbasaur:Note to self, NEVER go to those places!

**Dead frogs are sometimes used for dissections in high school and university anatomy classes, often after being injected with coloured plastics to enhance the contrast between the organs. **

**Bulbasaur:They cut my kind freaking open!**

**Ultraman:I actually did a dissection activity in my biology class once, though we didn't use frogs.**

Bulbasaur:Whew...

Ultraman:We used pigs instead.

Charmeleon:Poor little Spoinks.

**This practice has declined in recent years with the increasing concerns about animal welfare.**

Bulbasaur:Well, they should!

**Frogs have served as important model organisms throughout the history of science. Eighteenth-century biologist Luigi Galvani discovered the link between electricity and the nervous system through studying frogs. The African clawed frog or platanna (_Xenopus laevis_) was first widely used in laboratories in pregnancy assays in the first half of the 20th century. When human chorionic gonadotropin, a hormone found in substantial quantities in the urine of pregnant women, is injected into a female _X. laevis_, it induces them to lay eggs. In 1952, Robert Briggs and Thomas J. King cloned a frog by somatic cell nuclear transfer, the same technique later used to create Dolly the Sheep, their experiment was the first time successful nuclear transplantation had been accomplished in metazoans.[44]**

Ultraman:Interesting...experiments.

**Frogs are used in cloning research and other branches of embryology because frogs are among the closest living relatives of man to lack egg shells characteristic of most other vertebrates, and therefore facilitate observations of early development. Although alternative pregnancy assays have been developed, biologists continue to use _Xenopus_ as a model organism in developmental biology because it is easy to raise in captivity and has a large and easily manipulatable embryo. Recently, _X. laevis_ is increasingly being displaced by its smaller relative _X. tropicalis_, which reaches its reproductive age in five months rather than one to two years (as in _X. laevis_),[45] facilitating faster studies across generations. The genome sequence of _X. tropicalis_ will probably be completed by 2015 at the latest.[46]****Cultural beliefs**

**Frogs feature prominently in folklore, fairy tales and popular culture. They tend to be portrayed as benign, ugly, clumsy, but with hidden talents. **

Bulbasaur:Hey! I take offense at being called ugly!

Squirtle:Well, you kinda are.

Bulbasaur:'Vine Whip's Squirtle'

**Examples include Michigan J. Frog, _The Frog Prince_, and Kermit the Frog. Michigan J. Frog, featured in the Warner Brothers cartoon _One Froggy Evening_, only performs his singing and dancing routine for his owner. Once another person looks at him, he will return to a frog-like pose. "The Frog Prince" is a fairy tale of a frog who turns into a handsome prince once kissed. Kermit the Frog, on the other hand, is a conscientious and disciplined character of _The Muppet Show_ and _Sesame Street_; while openly friendly and greatly talented, he is often portrayed as cringing at the fanciful behaviour of more flamboyant characters.**

Squirtle:Hey, maybe your nickname should be Kermit then.

Bulbasaur:How'd you like a SolarBeam to the face?

**The Moche people of ancient Peru worshipped animals and often depicted frogs in their art.**

Ultraman:And that's it.

Bulbasaur:Wasn't so bad, though the drug parts annoyed me.

Squirtle:Lighten up, will yah?

Pidgeot:So which one of us is doing a Disney song this time?

Ultraman:I decided to stop that for now. Anyways, good bye for now, everybody and have a good Christmas!

Mewtwo:What's Christmas?

Ultraman:And now I've gotten an idea for a new one shot fic.


	7. Gliscor

Disclaimer:I don't own Pokemon.

Ultraman:I'm back!

Charizard:And I'm fully evolved again! 'uses Flamethrower'

Pikachu:What took you so long?

Ultraman:Lost interest in this for a while, but now I'm motivated for it again! And to celebrate, I'm gonna bring in one of Ash's future Sinnoh Pokemon, Gliscor!

Gliscor:Yes, an early appearance!

**Scorpions are predatory arthropod animals of the order Scorpiones within the class Arachnida. There are about 2,000 species of scorpions, found widely distributed south of about 49° N, except New Zealand and Antarctica. The northernmost part of the world where scorpions live in the wild is Sheerness on the Isle of Sheppey in the UK, where a small colony of _Euscorpius flavicaudis_ has been resident since the 1860s. The word _scorpion_ derives from Greek _σκορπιός_ – _skorpios_.**

Pikachu:Hey, that must mean your related to Skorupi, huh?

Gliscor:Must be.

**Anatomy**

The Pokemon groaned but Gliscor simply grinned.

Gliscor:You react with disdain, I'll react with pride!

**The body of a scorpion is divided into two parts: the cephalothorax (also called the prosoma) and the abdomen (opisthosoma). **

Gliscor:Actually I have three body segments... or do I?

**The abdomen consists of the mesosoma and the metasoma.**

**The cephalothorax, also called the prosoma, is the scorpion's "head", comprising the carapace, eyes, chelicerae (mouth parts), pedipalps (claws) and four pairs of walking legs.**

Gliscor:Ok, that's a bit of brain teaser there for me.

Charizard:I actually sort of envy him.

**The scorpion's exoskeleton is thick and durable, providing good protection from predators.**

Gliscor:Yep, I'm a good physical wall, and a physical attacker!

**Scorpions have two eyes on the top of the head, and usually two to five pairs of eyes along the front corners of the head. **

Gliscor:Really? Cool!

Pikachu:Don't you care about the fact that they're slandering you!

Gliscor:You take this all way too seriously.

**The position of the eyes on the head depends in part on the hardness or softness of the soil upon which they spend their lives.**

**The metasoma, the scorpion's tail, comprises six segments (the first tail segment looks like a last mesosoman segment), the last containing the scorpion's anus and bearing the telson (the sting). The telson, in turn, consists of the vesicle, which holds a pair of venom glands, and the hypodermic aculeus, the venom-injecting barb.**

**On rare occasions, scorpions can be born with two metasomata (tails).**

Gliscor:Hot dog! If I had two tails, I could eat without using my hands like Ampipom!

**Two-tailed scorpions are not a different species, merely a genetic abnormality.**

**Reproduction**

Gliscor:Hehehe, sex ed for me.

**Most scorpions reproduce sexually, and most species have male and female individuals. However, some species, such as _Hottentotta hottentotta_, _Hottentotta caboverdensis_, _Liocheles australasiae_, _Tityus columbianus_, _Tityus metuendus_, _Tityus serrulatus_, _Tityus stigmurus_, _Tityus trivittatus_, and _Tityus urugayensis_, reproduce through parthenogenesis, a process in which unfertilized eggs develop into living embryos.**

Gliscor:Hey, where would the fun be in that!

**Parthenogenic reproduction starts following the scorpion's final moult to maturity and continues thereafter.**

**Sexual reproduction is accomplished by the transfer of a spermatophore from the male to the female; scorpions possess a complex courtship and mating ritual to effect this transfer. Mating starts with the male and female locating and identifying each other using a mixture of pheromones and vibrational communication. Once they have satisfied each other that they are of opposite sex and of the correct species, mating can commence.**

Gliscor:Actually, even though there's no physical difference between us, we can tell if either of us is a boy or girl.

**The courtship starts with the male grasping the female's pedipalps with his own; the pair then perform a "dance" called the "_promenade à deux_".**

Gliscor:'in a french tone' Ah yes, the ancient art of ballroom dancing.

Gallade:Well said, sir Gliscor.

Pikachu:Hmm, maybe if I learned how to dance...

Squirtle:Forget it Pikachu, you'll never get laid.

Ultraman:Wait, I got an idea. 'snaps fingers and Chuka appears'

Chuka:What the hell? Where am I?

Ultraman:'points to Chucka and then Pikachu' Use Rape on that Pikachu.

Pikachu:WHAT?!

Chuka:What's in it for me?

Ultraman:I'll force feed pig pop down Kairi's throat.

Chucka:Pig what?

Ultraman:It's pig crap in liquid form that's supposed to be in a soda.

Chuka:Done. Oi, rat man, come over here so I can rape you in the ass.

Pikachu:NOOOOOOOO!!!!

One extremelly graphic furry mouse on mouse action later...

Pikachu:'shaking in a fetal position' That felt so wrong...and yet soo good...

Chuka:Alright, that rat's virginity is gone, now pay up!

Ultraman:Okay then. 'summons Kairi'

Kairi:Uh, am I in another fanfic?

Ultraman:Yes. 'shoves pig pop down Kairi's throat'

Kairi:HOLY FREAKING CRAP! THAT'S ARCEUS FREAKING AWFUL!

Ultraman:'send them away' Okay, continue Gliscor.

**In reality this is the male leading the female around searching for a suitable place to deposit his spermatophore. The courtship ritual can involve several other behaviours such as juddering and a cheliceral kiss, in which the male's chelicerae—clawlike mouthparts—grasp the female's in a smaller more intimate version of the male's grasping the female's pedipalps and in some cases injecting a small amount of his venom into her pedipalp or on the edge of her cephalothorax, probably as a means of pacifying the female.**

**When the male has identified a suitable location, he deposits the spermatophore and then guides the female over it. This allows the spermatophore to enter her genital opercula, which triggers release of the sperm, thus fertilizing the female. The mating process can take from 1 to 25+ hours **

Squirtle:WHOA! You've got some stamina, man!

Gliscor:'smirks' I know.

**and depends on the ability of the male to find a suitable place to deposit his spermatophore. If mating goes on for too long, the female may eventually lose interest, breaking off the process.**

Gliscor:Better keep it interesting, then.

**Once the mating is complete, the male and female will separate. The male will generally retreat quickly, most likely to avoid being cannibalized by the female, **

Gliscor:'face becomes pale' What?

**although sexual cannibalism is infrequent with scorpions.**

Gliscor:Whew.

**Birth and development**

**Unlike the majority of arachnid species, scorpions are viviparous. The young are born one by one, and the brood is carried about on its mother's back until the young have undergone at least one molt. Before the first molt, scorplings cannot survive naturally without the mother, since they depend on her for protection and to regulate their moisture levels. Especially in species which display more advanced sociability (e.g. _Pandinus_ spp.), the young/mother association can continue for an extended period of time. The size of the litter depends on the species and environmental factors, and can range from two to over a hundred scorplings. The average litter however, consists of around 8 scorplings.**

Gliscor:I think I had only 4 siblings.

**The young generally resemble their parents. Growth is accomplished by periodic shedding of the exoskeleton (ecdysis). **

Pikachu:Like fur?

Squirtle:You shed?

Pikachu:NO!

Gliscor:We just molt, though I don't do that anymore.

**A scorpion's developmental progress is measured in instars (how many moults it has undergone). Scorpions typically require between five and seven moults to reach maturity. Moulting is effected by means of a split in the old exoskeleton which takes place just below the edge of the carapace (at the front of the prosoma). The scorpion then emerges from this split; the pedipalps and legs are first removed from the old exoskeleton, followed eventually by the metasoma. When it emerges, the scorpion's new exoskeleton is soft, making the scorpion highly vulnerable to attack. The scorpion must constantly stretch while the new exoskeleton hardens to ensure that it can move when the hardening is complete. The process of hardening is called sclerotization. The new exoskeleton does not fluoresce; as sclerotization occurs, the fluorescence gradually returns.**

**Life and habits**

Gliscor:Kicking ass, and being badass!

**Scorpions have quite variable lifespans and the actual lifespan of most species is not known. The age range appears to be approximately 4–25 years (25 years being the maximum reported life span in the species _Hadrurus arizonensis_).**

Gliscor:Ha! My grandfather's twice that age and he's still pretty spry!

**Lifespan of _Hadogenes_ species in the wild is estimated at 25–30 years.**

**Scorpions prefer to live in areas where the temperatures range from 20 °C to 37 °C (68 °F to 99 °F), but may survive from freezing temperatures to the desert heat. Scorpions of the genus _Scorpiops_ living in high Asian mountains, bothriurid scorpions from Patagonia and small _Euscorpius_ scorpions from middle Europe can all survive winter temperatures of about −25 °C. In Repetek (Turkmenistan) there live seven species of scorpions (of which _Pectinibuthus birulai_ is endemic) in temperatures which vary from 49,9 °C to -31 °C.**

Gliscor:Guess I'm not that kind of scorpion, I can't take anything cold.

Ultraman:You do have a quadruple weakness to ice after all.

**They are nocturnal and fossorial, finding shelter during the day in the relative cool of underground holes or undersides of rocks and coming out at night to hunt and feed. Scorpions exhibit photophobic behavior, primarily to evade detection by their predators such as birds, centipedes, lizards, mice, possums, and rats.**

Pikachu:Please, this guy will take any opportunity to kiss up to Ash.

Gliscor:One day I'll take your place on his shoulder!

**Scorpions are opportunistic predators of small arthropods and insects. They use their chelae (pincers) to catch the prey initially. Depending on the toxicity of their venom and size of their claws, they will then either crush the prey or inject it with neurotoxic venom. This will kill or paralyze the prey so the scorpion can eat it. Scorpions have a relatively unique style of eating using chelicerae, small claw-like structures that protrude from the mouth that are unique to the Chelicerata among arthropods. The chelicerae, which are very sharp, are used to pull small amounts of food off the prey item for digestion. Scorpions can only digest food in a liquid form; any solid matter (fur, exoskeleton, etc) is disposed of by the scorpion.**

**Venom**

**All known scorpion species possess venom and use it primarily to kill or paralyze their prey so that it can be eaten; in general it is fast-acting, allowing for effective prey capture. **

Gliscor:Wait a minute, in that case shouldn't I be part Poison/Flying then?

Ultraman:Don't blame me, I didn't design your species.

**It is also used as a defense against predators. The venom is a mixture of compounds (neurotoxins, enzyme inhibitors, etc.) each not only causing a different effect, but possibly also targeting a specific animal. Each compound is made and stored in a pair of glandular sacs, and is released in a quantity regulated by the scorpion itself. Of the over thousand known species of scorpion, only a few have venom that is dangerous to humans.**

Gliscor:That's good, I wouldn't want to hurt Ash by mistake.

**Medical use**

**The key ingredient of the venom is a scorpion toxin protein.**

**Short chain scorpion toxins constitute the largest group of potassium (K+) channel blocking peptides; an important physiological role of the KCNA3 channel, also known as KV1.3, is to help maintain large electrical gradients for the sustained transport of ions such as Ca2+ that controls T lymphocyte (T cell) proliferation. Thus KV1.3 blockers could be potential immunosuppressants for the treatment of autoimmune disorders (such as rheumatoid arthritis, inflammatory bowel disease and multiple sclerosis).**

Gliscor:Hey, there's an idea for a get rich quick scheme!

Squirtle:Count me in.

**The venom of Uroplectes lineatus is clinically important in dermatology.**

**Toxins being investigated include:**

**Chlorotoxin is a 36-amino acid peptide found in the venom of the deathstalker scorpion (_Leiurus quinquestriatus_) which blocks small‐conductance chloride channels.[15] The fact that Chlorotoxin binds preferentially to glioma cells has allowed the development of new methods, that still are under investigation, for the treatment and diagnosis of several types of cancer.**

**Fossil record**

**Scorpions have been found in many fossil records, including marine Silurian deposits, coal deposits from the Carboniferous Period and in amber. They are thought to have existed in some form since about 430 million years ago. They are believed to have an oceanic origin, with gills and a claw-like appendage that enabled them to hold onto rocky shores or seaweed, although the assumption that the oldest scorpions were aquatic has been questioned. Currently, 111 fossil species of scorpion are known. Unusually for arachnids, there are more species of Palaeozoic scorpion than Mesozoic or Cenozoic ones.**

**The _eurypterids_, marine creatures which lived during the Paleozoic era, share several physical traits with scorpions and may be closely related to them. Various species of Eurypterida could grow to be anywhere from 10 to 250 centimetres (3.9 to 98 in) in length. However, they exhibit anatomical differences marking them off as a group distinct from their Carboniferous and Recent relatives. Despite this, they are commonly referred to as "sea scorpions."Their legs are thought to have been short, thick, tapering and to have ended in a single strong claw; it appears that they were well-adapted for maintaining a secure hold upon rocks or seaweed against the wash of waves, like the legs of shore-crab.****Geographical distribution**

**Scorpions are almost universally distributed south of 49° N, and their geographical distribution shows in many particulars a close and interesting correspondence with that of the mammals, including their entire absence from New Zealand. The facts of their distribution are in keeping with the hypothesis that the order originated in the northern hemisphere and migrated southwards into the southern continent at various epochs, their absence from the countries to the north of the above-mentioned latitudes being due, no doubt, to the comparatively recent glaciation of those areas. When they reached Africa, Madagascar was part of that continent; but their arrival in Australia was subsequent to the separation of New Zealand from the Austro-Malayan area to the north of it.**

**In the United States, scorpions are most common in southern Arizona and in a swath of land extending through central Texas and central Oklahoma. The common striped scorpion, _Centruroides vittatus_, reaches from northern and northeastern Mexico to southern Colorado, Kansas, southern Missouri, and Louisiana. A small population is native to Monroe County, Illinois. Species of the genus _Vaejovis_ are found from Georgia north to Kentucky, the Carolinas, and Tennessee, and as far west as Washington and California. _Paruroctonus boreus_ is found through the Northwest U.S. and into Canada (Southern Saskatchewan, Southern Alberta and the Okanagan Valley of British Columbia). Scorpions can be found in 31 different states in the U.S., including Hawaii (_Isometrus maculatus_). They are absent from areas that were affected by Pleistocene glaciation in the eastern U.S. California and Arizona boast the greatest scorpion species diversity, although areas in the Trans-Pecos region of Texas have 9 species within 100 meters.**

**Five colonies of scorpions (_Euscorpius flavicaudis_) have established themselves in southern England having probably arrived with imported fruit from Africa, but the number of colonies could be lower now because of the destruction of their habitats. This scorpion species is small and completely harmless to humans.**

**Ultraviolet light**

**Scorpions are also known to glow when exposed to certain wavelengths of ultraviolet light such as that produced by a blacklight, due to the presence of fluorescent chemicals in the cuticle. **

Gliscor:Ah man, I wish that was true for me. Or maybe I can...

**The principal fluorescent component is now known to be beta-Carboline. A hand-held UV lamp has long been a standard tool for nocturnal field surveys of these animals. However, a glow will only be produced in adult specimens as the substances in the skin required to produce the glow are not found in adolescents.**

Ultraman:Well, looks like that's it. Tune in next time and leave reviews!


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